


The Red Pen of Fate

by beanstalks, Ethanol



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Heiman, M/M, Mostly fluff?, Pen Pals, Stendy, Until it isn't, bunny - Freeform, creek - Freeform, kyle is actually from new jersey, pen pal au, sorta slow burn, style, super best friends, there's some angst, there's some side ships but style is the main meal, this has quite a few characters, until they're gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-07-17 20:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 37,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16103291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beanstalks/pseuds/beanstalks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethanol/pseuds/Ethanol
Summary: Writing was never Stan's area of expertise. If anything, he detested his own chicken scratch and mess of texting. He never really planned on improving, and his girlfriend Wendy hadn't explicitly asked him to. It wasn't until he was given a pen pal project with one of the most insufferable people he's ever met that he stubbornly decided to buckle down and beat the asshole at his own game.





	1. The Pen Pal Project

**Author's Note:**

> helloooo,  
> thus marks the beginning of some gay little shits  
> we started this because i am #1 style slut and yannow, i adore momo's writing so here is our pen pal au gosh bless  
> writing stan's letters fucking hurt me  
> -bean  
> woooooooooo  
> i wrote most of stan's letters my soul is destroyed  
> -mana

###  **CHAPTER 1: The Pen-pal Project**

"Okay, class." The routine call brought the swimming voices to silence.

"Starting this year, each one of you will be assigned a pen-pal from another school, and you will need to write them a letter once every week. AND if you think you can get away with not writing to them, think again. Most of you sacks of shit are being paired up with some goody-two-shoes grade school on the East Coast."

Collective groans from most of the class soon filled the air, accompanied by the slams of tables and subsequent voices of protest, a certain voice above them all.

"But we don't want to write boring-ass letters to some strangers across the goddamn country!" Cartman whined in his usual high-pitched squeal, stood up on his tabletop chair as he jutted a finger towards the window.

"Well tough shit, fatty. You've gotta do it." Mr Garrison countered with an annoyed sigh. It was only first period and he was already pretty much done for the day. "Same goes for the rest of you little bastards. You don't write to your pen-pal, you get an F. Now form a line so you can get a name and address from this here box," the old teacher grumbled out, picking up a cardboard box from his desk, giving it a loud shake whilst he went over to his seat behind the desk.

Despite the groans and comments of objection, each student began to form a crude line in front of the teacher's desk, some nudging another to make room on the reluctantly-made queue. Many were not excited to allocate their precious time writing letters to random kids of their age across the country. They were only in Fifth grade.

"Why, gee- fellas I think this could be fun!" Butters' voice rang out sweetly amidst the sea of irritated mumbles and soft exchanges, earning himself a soft shove from the fifth-grader behind him.

"Just shut up and pick a name, Butters." A nasally voice chimed in, uninterested. It could belong to either of the two boys in the class, no one was exactly sure.

"Oh- All right, then," the bleach-blonde haired boy stuck his hand through the slit at the top of the cardboard box, pulling out a stapled slip of paper a second later, a hum of acknowledgement escaping the boy before he walked back to his seat. One by one, each student began to draw from the brown rectangle. Soon enough, every student had returned to his seat, beginning to remove the metal staple that folded the paper shut, concealing its contents. Some resorted to ripping the staple off by force, causing quick tearing noises to resound through random seats in the classroom, their reactions varying when they began to read the names.

"Dude, sweet! I got a girl!" Clyde rejoiced with raised fists. It could only have been Clyde, the other of a similar voice would be less enthusiastic about girls.

"Girl, who did you get?" A girl from the back of the room leant over to converse with her seatmate, similar voices of interest beginning to swirl around as time went on.

"Laaame!" Cartman, of course, crumpled his piece of paper and flicked it towards the trashcan, missing the hole and landing on the floor next to it.

"Eric, you pick that up right now!" Mr Garrison snapped, and the large boy kicked his legs up on his armchair.

Everyone had learned to drown out the two's bickering, for the reason that it had grown too old, and honestly too annoying to be considered relevant. However, Stan Marsh didn't register the exchange of curses and threats for another reason.

Writing? _How the hell do I do that?_ The raven questioned himself, his idle gaze glancing down to his hands kept within mittens. The boy's never written for anything aside from the obligatory essay question in exams and schoolwork, but even then, his penmanship parred with chicken scratch, and his grammar equaled to a kindergartner. Wendy had scolded him for having such poor writing ability, but she never actively tried to change it, so neither did he.

"Stanley!" The mention of his name brought the boy back to reality, his eyes flicking around the room to see others' eyes on him. Stan blinked, finally settling his gaze on the attire of lime green in front of his seat. "Huh?"

"You're the only one who didn't pick a name," the teacher flipped open the box, tapping it against the raven's desk to let the last slip of paper fall from the hole. "Again, class. Every week. And you report to me at the end."

A long sigh escaped the boy, eyeing the slip of paper as if it had offended him. Struggling to remove the staple, he took a second before finally succeeding, hands clutching both ends of the slip. _If it's a girl, Wendy will kill me._

Stan unfolded the paper, and he did a double take to see if he pronounced the name properly in his head.

 

_Kyle Broflovski._

_Northfield Community Elementary School._

_New Jersey._

 

Stan heard a familiar muffled voice coming from his left, so he looked over to the source slowly.

" _Did you get a chick? I bags swapping if you did. No point in this shit otherwise_." Kenny said, eyeing his paper. Stan turned it towards him and watched as the boy deflated. He looked upset for a few seconds before seemingly realizing something, and moving over towards Cartman, who had begun to fight Mr Garrison on having shoes up on the desks. Kenny murmured something in the larger boy's ear which made him crack up.

"Oh man! Dude! You have someone from fuckin' Jersey?" Stan narrowed his eyes at the boy. I mean, sure. Jersey wasn't the greatest. But you can't judge a cover by its book, or however the saying goes.

"Who'd you get, Stan?" He heard the feminine voice call out from his other side and turned to Wendy. "I got a boy named Gregory. It's a nice name."

"Kyle. Kyle from New Jersey." Stan said, looking at his paper intently. He still didn't want to do the task, but he supposed that maybe the other boy didn't either. Then they could just cut their losses and not write anything. "Do you... know how to write letters?"

"Oh, I already have mine all planned out. I'm going to introduce myself first, then talk about my family and friend-" And Stan was uninterested. He looked back at the paper in his hands and let out a breath _. Oh well, best I just do it._

\-----------------

Stan had been sitting at his desk for the best part of half an hour, and he still hadn't even gotten a word down. There was a slowly growing pile of paper scattered on the ground leading up to his bin. Only two of them had actually gone in, which gave him a brief moment of joy before he returned to frustration.

 _I don't even know how to make friends!_ Back when they were in kindergarten, everything was easy. You shared a Lego brick with someone and bam. Friends for life. Well, actually. Cartman had been throwing sand at all the kids, and he left Stan and Kenny clean because he 'liked their clothes'. Friends for life?

 _Hey, I'm Stan._  No, too weird _. Stan here._ Ugh! No. Stan pulled his hat over his eyes and sighed. To top it all off, all his letters looked like an actual kindergartner wrote them. He let his pencil drop onto his page and grabbed his phone, opening Kenny's contact.

 

To: McCorDick

how r u goin w the pen pals shit?

From: McCorDick

dude lmao you think i did that, lol

 

Stan leaned back in his chair and stretched, rubbing his eyes. _Garrison never said how long the letters had to be, did he?_ He glared at his paper.  _This'd be easier if I could get even a single word down without hating it immediately_. He put his phone down and grumbled, putting his chewed-up pencil to the paper again.

 **Whats up? im Stan.** Stan cringed as he wrote. He's going to think I'm an idiot. **I hav a dog named sparky hes cool**. He somehow managed to butcher the letter d so badly that it looked like a figure eight, which made him push down the urge to throw away this letter as well.

Slamming down the pencil against the desk, the raven-barked boy huffed a hot breath of frustration, sucking in fresh air through his teeth in an attempt to cool down his mind. _Why am I worrying about this? It's just another stupid project. I'll just get on with it and be done-_ An internal lightbulb sparked to life in his mind, and Stan reached back for his phone, this time opening up Wendy's contact.

 

To: CallGirl<3

hey wendy can u rite my penpal letters for me pls?

There was a short moment of pause, the girl usually replied at a second's notice.

From: CallGirl<3

Stan, those letters are supposed to be from you. Write how you would write them, and they'll turn out great!

 

The boy frowned. There went his way out of the project, and she took a second to reply too. She must be working on her own letter.

 

To: CallGirl<3

fine finr ill try. ill let u get back to writing to yers

 

From: CallGirl<3

Thanks, Stan! I'll text you as soon as I'm done!

 

He sighed before closing Wendy's contact, a lax thumb scrolling through his phone's screen, stopping at Butters' phone number. For a moment, he contemplated on shooting the boy a message to see if he could do his work for him, but Stan was sure he was either doing Cartman's work for the larger boy, or his phone was taken by his parents again because they'd grounded him for unfair reasons.

He was out of options. He had to write.

 _You know what, fuck it!_ Stan threw his hands in the air before picking up his pencil, sliding his mobile device across the wooden desk. Right, fuck uhh... he surveyed what he had so far, and began to crumple the paper, only managing to do so halfway before he stopped, and flattened out the sheet the best to his ability _. No! I'm fucking finishing this, fuck what he thinks about me!_

A look of focus, annoyance, and determination glistened in his eyes as he struggled through composing the letter, consuming an entire hour for his endeavor. No one could ever fault Stan for trying his hardest, but these were instances that the end result was the only thing that mattered. Disposing of numerous drafts before he got a finally settled on one.

With a look of uncertainty, the raven steeled himself to read back the entirely of his letter, humming out words not worth mentioning.

 

**Whats up, im Stan.**

**I hav a dog named sparky hes cool. im 11 and hav a girlfried named Wendy. Shes nice. I dont like skool. its boring. This whole letter thing sux. Cant we just fake it?**

**Youre name is like mine. 4 letters and kind of bland.**

**Let me know abt fakin it.**

**Stan.**

 

The paper was crumpled and half of his letters looked like scribbles, and the whole thing sounded rushed and awkward. Stan sighed and rubbed his face. _Looks like this is going to be the best I get._ He folded it up and put it in the envelope his dad gave him, ready to take into school the next day. He rifled through his bag to find the piece of paper and debated whether he should write it himself before deciding to ask his mom to do it.

Walking downstairs to the dining table where his mom was looking at paperwork, Stan held out the envelope and paper.

"Can you write this for me, please?" Stan asked his mom. She grabbed them and looked at them, adjusting her glasses.

"Ah, pen pals? That's interesting." Sharon said, copying the address onto the envelope and handing it back to him. "This should improve your handwriting! Maybe I'll actually be able to read it now." She laughed at his frown. "I'm joking! I hope you get a letter back soon!"

\-----------------

It took about a week for Mr Garrison to gather all the kids up and hand out their letters. Everyone was either bored or excited, like Clyde who kept pestering Token about whether his pen pal was hot or not, but Stan was _nervous._ What if the other boy couldn't read his handwriting? Or thought he was stupid?

"Well, gee, fellas! Aren't you excited! We coulda made a nice new pal!" Butters was saying, Cartman ripped open his letter and scoffed as he read it.

"I got an idiot nerd!" He complained, leaning back in his chair and blowing a raspberry. Stan stopped watching others and looked down at his letter, where neat printing spelled out his name. The envelope felt thicker than his was, which confused him slightly. He gulped down his nerves and opened it carefully.

To his confusion, he found a crumpled piece of paper along with a nice, pristinely folded one. He looked at the crumpled paper and saw that it was his own letter. But it was covered with red pen. Crossing out and adding in things, and seemingly _marking his mistakes?_

Stan was completely bewildered, he read over his letter to find a bunch of question marks next to some of the words that he'd had trouble writing. _Who the fuck..._ Stan put his letter to the side and unfolded the clean paper covered with neat print.

From the get-go, Stan could already see how much more detailed and formal the other's letter was composed, bringing the firm piece of paper closer to his face, he began to read the contents of the letter.

 

**Northfield Community Elementary School**

**New Jersey, USA**

**Dear Stan,**

**I can't really say that it's wonderful to have you as a pen-pal with that mess you called a letter and the proposition you sent to me. As much as I would like to fake this, my school is pretty watchful on these sorts of projects, my class in particular would not take kindly to my grade if I were to be found cheating. So, sadly, it seems like we're stuck together.**

_Stuck together? Who the fuck does he think he is?_ An annoyed expression crossed the raven boy's face, rolling his head around with a long sigh before returning to read the letter.

**Personally, I was appalled at your writing ability, and you should really write your own letters next time instead of letting a small toddler do it for you. Unless you wrote that, then- Maybe getting a kindergartner might be best, because I couldn't understand much of what you wrote to me. So, I figured I should send the letter back to you, accompanied by my many corrections and spelling fixes. And there were a lot, as you can see.**

**I hope next week you can put even the slightest bit of effort, and maybe we can finally start conversing with each other through this project, instead of me receiving some Chinese chicken scratch.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle Broflovski**

**PS. Yeah, my name is boring, what about it? Stan isn't any better!**

 

Stan placed the letter back on his desk, and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. _Jesus. Christ._

The boy could feel the sarcastic venom that soaked into the neatly folded page. Hell, Stan wouldn't doubt the possibility that the ink he used to write was a venomous poison extracted from snakes. Nonetheless, the letter hit him pretty hard, and the built-up nervousness within him was quickly replaced by a mix of frustration and shame.

 _It can't be_ **_that_ ** _bad, right?_ Stan brought the letter he wrote, now decorated in symbols and words of red ink, next to Kyle's. Heaving a breath, he hung his head low, the grip on his own paper tightening.

It was **that** bad.

The boy chewed on his lower lip. Why did this hurt more than he thought? Scratch that- Why did it hurt him _at all?_ It was just some stupid project through the eyes of the raven, in fact, he should've just asked his mother to write the letter for him.

" _Oooh~, whatcha' got there, Stanny?_ " Quickly snatching the other paper that barely settled between Stan's fingers, his orange-clad friend leant back on his arm chair as he quickly skimmed his pen-pal's letter, each line prompting a mocking laugh from the blond.

" _Aw, damn! You just got fucking roasted through a letter!_ " Kenny jeered, expertly avoiding Stan's hand before he bounced over to Cartman, slipping the letter into the larger boy's hands. He didn't even finish the entire thing before he scoffed at the boy, a shit-eating grin splitting his wide face.

"HA! Looks like a Jersey boy's fallen in love with Stan!" Cartman laughed, continuing to do so even after Stan swiped the letter back from his hands, adjacent student's eyes starting to settle on him.

"Damn, dude. It's just a pen-pal, not some Juliet you write romantic letters to," Clyde commented amidst amused chuckles, another quickly jumping on the bandwagon.

"You're just jelly because you wrote your pen-pal your phone number and she said she wasn't interested." Esther pointed out, a cry of protest bursting from the brunet's lips in response.

"Shut up, this guy's just a fucking asshole. Didn't even keep the letter I gave him. And look! He even corrected it!" Stan defended, presenting his poor excuse of a letter to his classmates around him.

" _Dude, I can see why. I can't understand shit._ " Kenny mumbled with a muffled laugh, leaning against the stout boy at his side, who joined him on the laughter.

Stan frowned as no one took his side. "I tried, okay! It's not my fault that my handwriting resembles scratchings on the wall of a loony bin." He sat back down at his desk and huffed grumpily.

"Oh my god! It fuckin' does!" Cartman cackled loudly, spouting off some other garbage about how pen pals were 'gay'. Meanwhile, Kenny patted Stan on the shoulder.

" _I_ _t kinda is your fault, dude. It's like you've written in another language_." Kenny said, showing a clear lack of support as Stan slumped, reaching out a hand.

"Show me yours, then." Stan deadpanned, Kenny obliged and handed him his pen pal's letter. **Thanks for the dicks, dude.** was all Stan read before he shoved the letter back at Kenny, who was laughing.

"Alright, everyone! Sit your asses down and _shut up_." Garrison yelled over the kerfuffle. "Everyone has gotten a letter back so far, so I guess I can't fail any of you assholes just yet. But I will."

Stan folded up his papers and slid them back into the envelope, wondering how on Earth he was meant to reply to such a rude letter. _I wish I'd gotten someone tolerable..._

\-----------------

"Mom, _please._ I don't want to be bullied by my pen pal again! It was humiliating! Kenny showed it to everyone!" Stan said, he was standing in the kitchen while his mom cooked dinner, begging her to write his letter this time, because _he didn't need confirmation that his spelling, grammar and handwriting were terrible_. He knew that already.

"No, Stan. You need to learn how to do these things. I think it's sweet that your new friend cared enough to correct you." Sharon said, chopping up vegetables and putting them into the soup she was making.

"He's not my friend! All he's done was be rude. I don't even know anything about him! Do I have to reply?" Stan complained, leaning against the counter.

"Yes, because otherwise, you'll both fail. And I don't think Kyle would be very happy about that." Sharon insisted, putting down the knife and turning to him. "I'm sure he didn't mean any harm. He's helping you out. You'll appreciate it someday." She put a hand on his head and turned him around, shooing him out of the kitchen. "Now go write your letter. And pay attention to the mistakes this time! Fix them!"

Stan dragged his feet back upstairs and sat at his desk, getting out his pencil and paper once more and leaning his head on his desk. He heard his phone go off from his pocket, so he dug it out.

 

From: CallGirl<3

I didn't get to tell you about my pen pal! Gregory is lovely! He's very political and likes the same kinds of movies I do. Sucks about yours, though. Try and be nice.

 

To: CallGirl<3

he was rood, i dont wanna be nice

 

From: CallGirl<3

Just try.

 

Stan scoffed at how unhelpful Wendy was, putting his phone on his desk and chewing on his pencil. _Alright, fine. I'll try and spell things right... And improve my handwriting_. Why couldn't he have gotten a pen pal like Kenny's? He was about eighty percent sure Kenny just drew dicks on his letter...

_Fine. Writing. Writing a letter to this jackass._

_Writing, can't be that hard as long as I_ **_try_** _, right?_

The raven-haired boy encouraged himself, but that was an hour ago, and 10 pieces of paper ago too, not to mention his floor was clean of crumpled up papers before he spent the hour redoing his penmanship over and over.

He had written down what he wanted to say on a spare sheet of pad paper. It looked fine _enough_ , but after that endeavor came the next part: Writing it down in understandable words on the letter.

"Jesus Christ, what does this dude want from me? A fucking Shakespeare poem?" Stan mocked the balled up trash in his hand, holding it up far from his face to imitate the poet he brought up. "To reply to this asshole, or to not reply to this asshole? That is the question."

He stood up and began to recite that one line from the dead man's plays, but he added his own special spice.

"Whether 'tis nobler in my mind to waste my time, all this paper and words of ridiculous torture." Stan grinned at his performance he put up for nobody, and he soon deflated, slumping back on his desk chair.

 

"Ah, fuck it."

A small whimper cut through the otherwise quiet room, and small footsteps quickly ran over to the boy's feet, loud panting and a wide smile looking up at the raven. "Ha-ha. I'm glad at least you liked my performance, Sparky." _You seem to be the only one who liked whatever I'm doing._

As if the canine denied his words, he began to nudge Stan's feet back to the desk, causing a moment's confusion for the boy before he picked up on what the pink scarf-wearing dog was trying to do.

"...What? No, I can't write that."

_Bark._

"He'll think I'm more of a dumb idiot if I do-"

_Bark._

"...Fine."

Spinning his swivel chair back to face him in front of the table, Stan brandished his pencil and took a deep breath. "All right, but if I get shit for it, no more sausages for a week, got it?" An enthusiastic bark followed, and the boy got to writing.

\-----------------

Was it confidence or crushing nervousness that bubbled inside the boy? Stan figured it was both. An unstable concoction of the two that threatened to explode from within him. The look he got from Mr. Garrison when he submitted his letter for next week earlier than even Wendy Testaburger didn't help him.

The deed was done, and there as only the painful wait before the class would receive the return letters.

"..Fuck, fuck!" Stan cursed under his breath at the crushed up piece of paper in his palm, rereading its contents and feeling more dejected at every word. His final draft carried the anxiety that he thought would be lifted when he gave the letter, and his own writing seemed to mock him.

 

**hey Kyle,**

**thankx i guess for fixing my letter. it got me laughed at by everyone in class so thnx a lot. oh, and my dog sparky wanted me to say hi and ugh- that i lie theatre a bit. i'm not a nerd i swear! because i don't write like one an act all mighty cus of it**

**gues we're doin this penpal shit then, better not get this back or have it graded or smthng.**

**Stan.**

 

" _Dude, half of those are just shortcuts you use in texting, you do know they're not_ **_actual_ ** _words?_ " Kenny pointed out in between taking bites of his sorry excuse of a lunch. Stan tore his gaze away from the paper to look at every other person sat on the lunch table with him. As always would be Kenny and Cartman, who would take up half the seating area, Butters sat across him, and the last space next to the raven would be saved for anybody who wanted to drop by, but that was far and few between.

Stan covered his face in embarrassment, avoiding the laughter and judgement directed his way as best he could. Cartman kept laughing and letting whatever food was in his mouth spray out, so he was also hiding from having to see that.

"I think Stan did mighty fine!" Butters exclaimed. "It really ain't fair to be rude 'nd all..." He said, avoiding Cartman's gaze, as the boy was poking fun at the both of them now. Kenny was still looking at the draft, puzzled.

" _I don't know why you're trying so hard, dude. This shit will be over in a month or so and then we'll never have to speak to them again. Just be like me, I drew heaps of dicks and dumb poems_." He said. Stan shoved the crumpled sheet of paper deep into his pocket.

"I don't know... It feels like a challenge now. He _roasted_ me, man. I need to get back at some point." Stan sighed, looking up at Kenny.

" _The best way to get back at him would be not to reply, but whatever floats your boat, I guess._ " Kenny said before turning to where Cartman was berating Butters for something and defending him.

 _But I don't want to fail... My mom will be disappointed._ Stan thought to himself. _So would Sparky..._

\-----------------

Another Friday, another envelope session. None of the other school had dropped out yet, which wasn't surprising, considering they were all 'a bunch of pansy nerds' according to Mr Garrison.

Stan was once again nervous. As much as he didn't want to be, he was interested in this 'Kyle' and what he was like. So far, he'd seemed like a massive asshole, but there was certainly a strong personality coming off the letter, and it intrigued the raven.

An envelope was chucked on his desk by his caring teacher, and this time, Stan could tell that his letter was inside it. He opened it slowly and checked his own letter first, noting the red pen.

Up the top of the paper was a big F in a circle, which made Stan scoff and whisper 'asshole'. He unfolded the neat letter by the other boy and began reading.

**Northfield Community Elementary School**

**New Jersey, USA**

**Dear Stan,**

**I'm surprised you actually replied with something relatively coherent this time, good job! You're learning! Maybe I should roast you more often, if being laughed at will help you improve so I don't have to analyze your writing like it's code.**

**Sparky sounds decent. I don't have any pets. I do have a little brother, though. He's rather like a pet. You don't sound like someone who likes theater. That's cool. What's your favorite production?**

**Are you insinuating that I'm a nerd because I pride myself in correct grammar? I'm hurt, Stan. Severely hurt.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle Broflovski**

**PS. I hope you see your grade. You still need to try harder, your last letter before that one was a G, honestly. Absolutely illegible.**

Stan bit his lower lip, but he grinned, folding the letter close before slipping it back in the envelope it came with, vibrant blue eyes wandering back to the bright red that vandalized his letter.

"All right, Kyle. I see how it is." Stan growled under his breath, picking up his paper that, once again, was returned to him by his pen-pal. Maybe the word _pal_ didn't fit his description, but the sight of the corrections and the bright red F sparked a flame in the boy, a wave of determination washing out the crushing nervousness that had a hold on his heart a few minutes earlier.

"You want me to try harder, I'll show you something harder." He declared with gritted teeth and a fierce look, his grip tightened around his letter, crumpling it. By the boy's side, pale blue eyes looked unto him with an interested, but a concerned expression, a lax hand pinching his own return letter between two fingers.

" _Damn, Stan. Didn't know you swung that way_." Kenny mused with a muffled laugh, snapping his gaze back to his paper, seeming to enjoy whatever was written on it. Or perhaps that wasn't the source of his amusement.

"Shut up, Kenny, you know what I mean." Stan spat out with an irritated sigh, putting both letters back in his backpack at the call of attention by Mr. Garrison.

" _Do I?_ " The sandy-blond hummed easily, patting the piece of paper down on his tabletop before veering his eyes to the teacher, Stan doing the same immediately after.

So far his impressions held true. _Kyle was indeed an asshole_ , but he was never going to let this drop, not until he can get back at this snarky kid the Gods had unfortunately paired him to be his pen-pal.

But hey, it was South Park, and everyone in it was anything _but_ fortunate.


	2. The Boy From New Jersey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan exchanges multiple letters with the asshole. He can already feel how excited he gets when he receives the mail, which may or may not be a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thus, the penis facts begin.  
> Hubabbla  
> -bean  
> "we back, so glad you liked the first chapter, now here's more of whatever this is, leave a whatever and let us know what you think, enjoy my friendos"  
> \- momo

###  **CHAPTER 2: The Boy From New Jersey**

The next week rolled over too quickly, Stan thought. He did spend a whole lot of it holed up in his room straight after school, succumbing himself to writing, throwing away, and rewriting drafts for his pen-pal. He wasn't going to let this high-and-mighty Jersey boy get the best of him, and he was getting pretty sick of his letters returned to him _. I keep his fucking letters, why doesn't he keep mine?_

He bit his pencil, new teeth marks digging into the wood. He wasn't going to compare his writing to the boy's again, he already knew he was outmatched on that front, but if he could get him to stop treating his letters like some sort of elementary-grade set work, then perhaps they can get on trying to become friends or something _? Is that what I'm looking for?_

Stan shook the thought away. He wasn't looking to be his friend, only to one day rub it in Kyle's face that he too can write _something._

 

**South Park Elementary**

**Colorado, USA**

He took notes of Kyle's letters, and decided to follow the format that the other boy had used.

**all right Kyle,**

**i'm gonna keep on doin this penpal shit until i fucking beat u at yer own fukin game. don't get sassy with me jersey boy, this red all over my fuking letters r gettin annoying.**

**i usually do the directin for the school's productions cus i have experience in doin things like em, but i rlly like the production 'Legally Blonde,' cus it was pretty grate.**

**alright, kyle broccoli. it's yer turn to tell me bout urelf. because assuming you as a nerd is the only thin im goin on.**

**Stan.**

**PS. Sparky says hi he left a momento of his greeting below.**

 

Stan had already spent more time than needed in writing the paper, and the imprint of his dog's foot that was accidentally there due to the letter falling to the floor while he wrote it was not enough of a mess to make him start over. So, best blame the dog for it, and make it seem nice. _Am I putting way too much effort into this?_ Perhaps, but he was too far into it to back out now.

\-------------

**Northfield Community Elementary School**

**New Jersey, USA**

**Dear Stan,**

**Wow! You've got an attitude. Never would have believed that a kid from the fabled South Park could be rude. (That was a joke. Your town is awful. No offense.)**

**That sounds cool! I'm usually too busy studying to be in the musicals, so I guess your assumption is indeed correct. The only song I know from 'Legally Blonde' is the 'Gay or European' one.**

**People have said that my hair looks like Broccoli, so nice nickname there. Not much I can do with Marsh. Marshmallow isn't rude at all... I'll think about it.**

**Let's see... I enjoy science a lot, but we don't really do much of that until high school, so I'm biding my time until then. I read a lot. I'm pretty sure I have too many books at the moment. I'll have to cut down on them at some point. My family is Jewish, and my mom was originally from Jersey. So that's why we're here.**

**Here's a fun fact that someone as crude as you will enjoy; Did you know that ducks have corkscrew penises? The females also have corkscrew vaginas but turning the other way. The female has to be completely on board before mating can occur. Isn't that cool?**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle Broflovski**

This letter had a double tick next to the paw mark, supplied by a smiley face.

\-----------------

It was safe to say that Stan had begun to be excited by the prospect of his pen pal writing him back. Most of his classmates had dropped out of the activity, accepting the fail. But Stan was determined to get Kyle back for the humiliation.

Kenny still talked to his pen pal... Well, talked may be an overstatement. They just took turns seeing who could draw the best poem inside the most realistically drawn penis, but they were having fun.

\-----------------

**South Park Elementary School**

**Colorado, USA**

**Hi Kyle,**

**yeah im not too sure what to say about that... fun fact of yours. i guess it's cool? probs never gonna think bout it every again.**

**south park isn't that bad if you don't listen to news bout us. and the ocasional calamity, or things like that. okay maybe it's that bad, and yer right bout the people here being rude and a bit o an asshole, so u'd fit right in!**

**so jewish and jersey, huh? not a lot of peeps like your sorts here, especially this one friend o mine. but everyones a dick, so yer pretty cool to me.**

**also, basically everyone here chose to give up the penpal project, so im guessin everyone else there gave up too**

**i don't wanna hear u givin up now, broccoli. not until i get u back.**

**Stan.**

**PS. happy 4th o july, fireworks r banned in colorado so we don't celebrate it like u east coasters do. so blow up a few houses for me, kay**

 

A month had passed, and the original class who opted to exchange letters with their respective pen-pal were reduced to only a mere few. Notably Stan, who didn't see it as a project anymore and only a challenge to get back at Kyle, Wendy, who made sure to write at least one letter to Gregory, Butters and Clyde, for polar opposite reasons, one having less of a fruitful time than the other, Kenny the self-proclaimed, _Phallic Poet_ , and Cartman, who had bullied Butters to writing his letters for him, not wanting to get the F.

\------------

**Northfield Community Elementary School**

**New Jersey, USA**

**Dear Stan,**

**I know you enjoyed my fun fact. Here's another one; crabs have two penises. They also have two things called 'pleopods' which are attached to the penises. It delivers the sperm into the female.**

**New Jersey isn't that bad if you don't watch the goddamn TV shows. Also, don't call me an asshole, you asshole. Absolutely uncalled for. Is your friend Anti-Semitic? I've only met one of them before and my mom ended up slapping him. She's quite the scary lady.**

**My friends were rather upset about losing the grade, which was saddening. You don't seem like the type to try and persevere, why are you still sending letters back? I thought you would have given up by now.**

**You watch your back, Swampy. (I did think about it, see.) As long as you send badly spelt letters, I'll be here to correct them.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle Broflovski.**

**PS. My brother almost flew into the sky, luckily mom found him holding on to a firework and saved him. Happy Independence Day.**

_As long as you send badly spelt letters, I'll be here to correct them._ Stan placed back both Kyle's letter and his back into the envelope it came in, and placed it back along with the _others_ , his desk partially stacked with Kyle's letters, and then his own, corrected letters that his pen pal graciously did in red ink.

Drawing his pencil to his mouth, Stan chewed on its tip in thought before he grabbed another fresh piece of paper and began writing.

\-----------------

**South Park Elementary School**

**Colorado, USA**

**Kyle,**

**okay, now i know you've sent me many facts bout animals penises. is this what ur into or smthng? i gues i dont really judge except no keep that away from me.**

**remember that anti-humanity friend i know that i talked to u about? yeah, he's still kickin, managed to rally a nazi party through south park a week ago. u'd probably see it in the news but it's all fine now**

**im not givin up cus its not about the grade anymore, broccoli. just provin you wrong.**

**Stan.**

**PS. my school's decided to stop the penpal project so i can't send letters to u through here no more so i left my address in the letter. send them there instead. happy thanksgiving.**

 

Below the vacant space of paper was a poorly drawn hand turkey, but except for a hand, it was Sparky's paw.

\--------------

**Northfield Community Elementary School**

**New Jersey, USA**

**Dear Stan/Swampy,**

**Hope I got the right address! I'll leave mine on the back.**

**Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I just find these crude facts interesting as hell. Hah. Chickens don't have dicks.**

**Oh, I saw the rally. My mom was horrified. I thought she was going to explode. How are you friends with that guy? Then again, you're both assholes, so I can see it.**

**Aww, just admit that you have a soft spot for me, Swampy. I got an A, by the way.**

**We don't celebrate Christmas, but I can't stop humming that one song by Mariah Carey. It's everywhere.**

**When's your birthday, by the way? Mine is May 26th.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle Broflovski**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO, USA**

**Kyle,**

**if youre reading this then yeh u got the rite address. now u don't have to miss me so much anymore haha. and yeh im an ass and were friends. you are too, and we're friends so it checks out.**

**chichens are birds, so i don't imagine theyd have dicks. also no way am i sending you dick facts.**

**ah right yer jew so u do that weird hunkah thing. hahuka? hubabbla? whatever, jewish christmas is what i like to call it. and don't see yerself too high dere kyle, i got myself an A too. mr. garrison was really-**

**actually he was more surprised than anythin.**

**hope the fireworks dont scare you too much, btw. Happy New Year!**

**Stan.**

**PS. my bdays on october 19, guess u missed it, broccoli.**

\-----------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Dear Swampy,**

**Stop calling me an ass or I'll regret the fact that I got the right address. Oh boy, the two weeks without a letter was so heartbreaking. How will I ever recover? :( As for the 'friends' thing, you're alright I guess.**

**Today's fact; Echidnas have barbed penises. Also, I forgot to clarify. My animal genital facts are purely based around the fact that I thought you'd enjoy them, not my sexuality.**

**Hubabbla. Did you seriously think my Christmas was called Hubabbla? It's Hanukkah. Hanukkah, Stan. Geez. My teacher wasn't surprised that I did well. Then again, I'm a nerd according to you so...**

**While correcting your letters, I've tallied it up and it seems the biggest mistake you make when writing is leaving off g's. They're very vital to a word, even if they're silent. Unless if you're going for a country thing, then you can put an apostrophe to replace the g.**

**Also, I have something big to tell you. It may change the way you think of me for good, and you may never want to talk to me again.**

**I'm ginger.**

**Granted, though, I don't have many freckles on my face, so I guess that's a plus? What color hair do you have?**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle.**

**PS. Dang! I'll catch it next year.**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Hi Kyle,**

**I was almost glad that i got the right address. almost. guess im sorta glad? dunno.**

**i mean, i'm no jew so i wouldn't know how you'd spell it. H a n n u k k a h. see? how couldve i gotten that on the first try? never, thats the answer. and im sure you wouldve gotten the A knowing you and your nerd self.**

**Is that why u use red ink because youre ginger? im not like my anti-humanity friend (who btw hates gingers, he tried to eradicate them a few months back for halloween), i don't mind.**

**you tally my letters and send them back to me? damn, didnt think id be that important to ya, broccoli. well its better than u probably using it for tinder or smthng.**

**technically im from the country, not everyone's born with privilege out there in the ol coast. sometimes u get stuck in some redneck mountain town.**

**aside from all the bullshit, its a pretty nice place. check it out sometime.**

**but i guess you'd miss the sun huh, jersey boy?**

**Stan.**

**PS. i have black hair, but im not emo... sorta.**

_It was a phase, and a short one, too. No one needed to remember that small dip in his life,_ Stan thought, this time taking time to fold the letter neatly in three parts.

\--------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Dear Swampy,**

**You never commented on your nickname! I think it's clever. Because swamps are like Walmart versions of marshes.**

**I use red ink because I like red. I like green more, but green ink doesn't show up as well, and I didn't want to strain your eyes. Even if you put me through that grade A bullshit with your handwriting. It has been improving, though, so good work!**

**What even is this guy, man? Next, he'll come after people from Jersey, then I'll really start to feel intimidated, haha.**

**I tally your mistakes, right now you also need to work on your use of capitals. A capital letter comes at the beginning of a sentence. :)**

**I'm a nerd and an introvert, Stan. I stay inside and do not tan. I'm the palest at our school, actually. Also, don't try to lie. Everyone has an emo phase. Even if you're not in one now, you either have been or will be.**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle**

**PS. You still spelt Hanukkah wrong.**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Well it's better than the nicknames people had called for me before and i cant really stop you can i? and i guess you could call swamps budget marshes or whatever.**

**Don't hold yer breath, he might just come after there next if he wakes up wrong and sees an episode of the jersey shore. if the sun isnt your friend then colorado is the state for you.**

**brisk air, not a lot of sun, just all snow and depressing green.**

**Is everything that im writing to you so boring that youre just focusing on counting what im doing wrong? cant say i blame you really.**

**Stan.**

**PS. graduating soon, can't tell if 6th grade's going to be a shitshow or not. knowing south park, probably is. how about there?**

\-----------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Swampy,**

**What do people call you? I hope your friend doesn't come here, I'm already surrounded by mostly weirdos, he'd just make it even worse.**

**Hm. I'd say I'd think about going to South Park but that fat ass is there...**

**Also, no, I don't point out your mistakes because you're boring. You're relatively interesting. Communication would be much easier if you fixed your use of capitals and apostrophes. Also, your is spelt** **your** **, not 'yer'.**

**I forgot to provide an animal penis fact! Did you know that there is a tiny insect called a water boatman that makes noise with its penis? It rubs it along its abdomen and makes noises at up to 99 decibels, much like a cricket but a bit weirder.**

**School has ended for us. Onwards and upwards, I guess. I'm looking forward to sixth grade, because it's one year closer to being able to do a science subject. :D**

**Found any new musicals recently?**

**Sincerely,**

**Kyle/Broccoli**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**One step closer to high school huh? Maybe things will finally get interesting or something around here, though i'm sure it's already hectic over there.**

**People just call me Stan here, plain and boring stan. and the time it took for your last letter to get here, that short 'invasion' by people from New Jersey. you weren't apart of the crowd that ran across south park right? my town kinda- shot a lot of you, then Al-qaeda sent their planes and it was all a mess.**

**guess this letter would be kinda useless if you're dead somewhere in a ditch haha.**

**but if you're not, feel free to write back anytime. enjoy your summer, if you can i guess.**

**Stan/Swampy**

**PS. There's this hit new musical about the founding fathers called 'Hamilton.' It's pretty great, you should give it a listen, yknow, if you're not dead**

\-----------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Swampy,**

**Jesus Christ... Only a few people from my town died. Thank god I'm not really attached to many of these idiots. We had to lock my mom in a cupboard to keep her from raging out. My dad was terrified. What's your family like?**

**We're already a few weeks into summer, and I miss school. Sitting around watching all the people I know go fake tanning even though the actual sun is right there... It's boring. Seems your town is never boring, what's that like?**

**Eh, it'd take a lot more than a gunshot to get me to stop correcting your writing. You didn't spell a single word wrong in your entire letter... I'm wiping away a proud tear thinking of it.**

**It's almost been a year since we started writing. None of my class have kept in touch with their pen pals, have yours?**

**Today's penis fact; back in 2011, an Argentine Lake Duck had a penis that measured 16.7 inches! I hope you remember what shape a duck's penis is, otherwise what's the point of my fun facts?**

**Sincerely,**

**Broccoli**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli/Kyle,**

**Because of your annoying corrections and constant need to return every letter back to me, i guess that helped me get better. and i guess it helped me learn more over the summer, but now its almost the end.  how was your summer?**

**My family's as normal by south park's standards, that is to say, not normal at all compared to the normal family. but they're fine, and it's never boring here. always one life-ending crisis after the other.**

**my girlfriend's kept in touch with her penpal, and so has my friend kenny. cartman's stopped his as soon as the project ended, and he can finally stop bullying the guy he forced to write for him.**

**Gee, thanks for the funny dick fact, Kyle. And here I thought Kenny's penpal and their dick poems were weird and dick oriented.**

**Since you asked, how's your family like? from what you've mentioned your mom seems like a psycho bitch. no offense.**

**Stan.**

**PS. maybe you should get some tanning done, must be pretty boring being pasty white out on the coast**

\-----------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Swampy,**

**I'm glad that you're improving from your garbage chicken scratch. We've started using cursive at school, I like it a lot and I'd show you but I need to improve it first. Summer was really boring. My brother Ike went overseas with one of his friends and their family, so it was pretty much me and my parents for ten weeks. Yay...**

**I don't know if I'd like having a non-stop life. I like having time to myself to chill out and read, or just think. I think a lot. Do you ever daydream? I keep wondering what you look like. What color are your eyes?**

**Oh, yeah. You haven't told me much about Wendy. What's she like? Also, I don't know if I should ask about Kenny and his pen pal. But my dick facts are educational. Speaking of... Did you know that a type of octopus has a detachable penis? While mating, it just... swims up.**

**My mom is alright most of the time. She just gets angry. Her bad temper passed on to me, so be aware of that.**

**Speaking of, I'm sorry I forgot to mention Hamilton. I did listen to it, and it was decent. I have been gradually falling down the hole of musical storylines and music now. Any good ones to recommend?**

**Let me be original, geez. Being pasty white is my culture, being a ginger. I burn really easily, or I just gain five thousand freckles. And you wonder why I stay inside mostly.**

**It's officially past our one year anniversary! Congratulations. I'm proud of your improvement with writing.**

**Sincerely,**

**Broccoli.**

**PS. How was your Independence Day?**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Our one year anniversary huh? Geez, you make us sound like a married couple haha.**

**Independence day went fine, except that Cartman tried to commit another mass genocide** **yet again** **. this time it was on the large group of hippies, and it was actually a problem so I'm sorta on the fence on what I feel about it.**

**Ever since classes started I haven't done a lot but daydream. come to think of it, I have been wondering what you look like too. My eyes? I guess they're a deep/icy blue? (i had to look deep into a mirror to guess the color so you're welcome.) How about yours? they better match that ginger hair of yours.**

**My girlfriend? well, there's a lot to say- I've known Wendy and dated her since the third grade, though we had a lot of on and offs, I love her, and we somehow get involved in the majority of South Park's misadventures.**

**Ah! there's a lot of musicals to listen to, but hmm- I'd reccomend Heathers, to give you a sick twisted view on how high school is like. but it's probably exagerrated, right?**

**How about you? Anyone catching your eye down at the New Jersey coast? Hah, and i'll watch out for that temper of yours then.**

**educational or not, they're still penis talk btw, but if you wanna keep them coming then by all means, go for it**

**Swampy.**

**PS. Halloween is coming up real' soon, what's your plan for it?**

**PPS. Don't go overboard with the cursive too much I just got started on kinda getting the normal writing right**

\-----------------

**801 Walnut Ave**

**Northfield, NJ 08225**

**USA**

**Swampy,**

**Why does that guy always want to kill people? Is his family life okay? Geez.**

**Black hair and blue eyes, pretty unusual. Thank you. I don't have red eyes, if that's what you're saying. They're green. Yup, Kyle is a regular old Christmas time. Red and green. I also have a weird scar on my lip from when I tried to eat my dad's steak knife as a kid.**

**Your relationship sounds cool! You've kinda grown up together, I guess. I mean, multiple near-death experiences will bring any number of people closer.**

**I listened to Heathers. It's good. Do you ever wish you could just fantasize about blowing up your own school and then eventually kill yourself via a bomb? I don't. Rip JD.**

**As I said before, ninety percent of the people here are assholes. I have like, ten people to pick from, and none of them take my fancy. Guess I'll just be alone forever.**

**Today’s penis fact; the bed bug actually uses its penis to breach the female’s abdomen. It literally pierces her organ.**

**Sincerely,**

**Broccoli.**

**PS. I had plans to dress up as a stalk of broccoli because of you, but I got brought down with a flu, so I couldn't :(. What did you do?**

**PPS. Next letter will be in cursive**

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Aww, you did? What I'd give to see you in that outfit, sorry to hear about you catching the flu on Halloween. Ours here was pretty normal, though I got kidnapped through an ipad. a funny story actually. My dad didn't want me to leave this new blockbuster store he bought because he thinks those kinds of stores are still relevant (and they're not, nobody goes to them anymore) and me and my friends decided to go to the town's halloween party as a group, because I wasn't allowed out we decided to use facetime and they carried it around. Then they lost the ipad, and a bunch of robbers threw me into some wheat field somewhere.**

**But i wasn't personally there for the kidnapping so I was fine. Don't know why Kenny and Cartman made a big deal about the damn device running out of battery.**

**This school has burned out several times, most of them I was involved with, but shh don't tell nobody.**

**You're just being too picky, Kyle. give it a try, maybe you'll like somebody or smthng. Free country.**

**Thanksgiving's just around the corner. time seems to be going fast, huh?**

**Swampy.**

**PS. Your probs got sick because you didn't eat your greens, but that would be cannibalism wouldn't it? Haha**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_I had it planned out and everything! I was upset as hell. Maybe next time I'll send pictures...? Also, how the actual_ ** **_fuck_ ** **_is that considered normal? I'm very concerned by your town in general. Also, you're right about blockbusters being unpopular. We all pirate everything anyway. They probably got attached to the iPad you, and thought that you'd perished horrifically._ **

**_Of course, your goddamn school has burnt down. I should just expect shit like that at this point. I bet you've met Satan, honestly._ **

**_On the topic of relationships, someone flirted with me today. It was a guy, and he had the most horrific fake tan I've ever seen. He finger-gunned me and said, 'red in the head, fire in the bed, baby'. I literally almost puked, Stan. What a fucking god-awful pick up line. I hate my state. So, you tell me if I'm being 'too picky', or everyone around here is trash._ **

**_Thanksgiving was boring. My mom had all her Jersey friends over, and their kids. The amount of arguments going on around me while I ate my turkey..._ **

**_Penis fact; if a harvest mouse only grows to 15 mm long, its penis can grow up to 8 mm. More than half the length of its body!_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Broccoli_ **

**_PS. Shut up. Am I red or green? Who knows. Vegetable or soulless beast? You decide._ **

**_PPS. How’s my cursive?_ **

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**That guy sounded like a fucking asshole, I'm surprised you didn't clock him across the face because of that shitty pickup line. And again, this is why people hate your state, and the people living in it.**

**Not you tho, you're pretty cool, Kyle.**

**And I took a while to understand your goddamn handwriting ever since you started writing in cursive, its no trouble tho, i'll learn to understand it eventually. maybe after a letter or three.**

**I know you don't celebrate Christmas and do your- Channuka? Hanukkah? Hanukkah, right? I left you a little something, neatly wrapped (it's not, i found some spare wrapping and shit.)**

**Think of it as an advance Christmas gift or whatever equivalent it is. Happy holidays, Broccoli.**

**Seasons greetings,**

**Swampy.**

**PS. Red or green huh? i think you're a bit of both. but that's not a bad thing**

**PPS. I met Satan in fourth grade, he's pretty cool.**

 

Was it the Christmas spirit, or was it because he wanted to beat Kyle to the draw? Whatever reason it was, Stan slipped a picture of himself inside the envelope before writing his address on the face of the blank post. _He better send a picture back._

Leaning back against his chair, he rolled the pencil along the bottom row of his teeth. It was the same one he used at the start, the wood now shortened and battered from the raven's excessive biting. Snow's began to frost up his windows, causing the neighbor's holiday lights to blur, but it gave his bedroom a festive glow, and it reflected well on the large cork-board hung up on his wall, his red-stained letters tacked onto its surface.

The red over the past year had become less and less, but his pen-pal always seemed to find a reason to correct his letters. From spelling mistakes to the misplaced or missing comma, Kyle would always find ways to decorate his writing with bright ink.

But Stan had to admit, he was beginning to like the red.

_Fuck, I'll get him back._


	3. The Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys become closer, and something less than ideal happens to Stan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST YUM  
> golly i love these boyos (also don't worry the best friends will gain a super soon)  
> -bean  
> hello, we're back with another chapterrrrr let us know what you think and enjoy as always and all that jazz.  
> this one's a big ol oof and a lot more oofs after that  
> it's an oof-stacular  
> -momo

###  **CHAPTER 3: The Best Friend**

 

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_I almost did slap that guy. If Ike hadn't been with me - that's right! My seven-year-old brother was with me! (Granted, Ike has terrible language.) But if Ike wasn't there, that guy would have been knocked out immediately. He was with a bunch of his asshole friends though, so._ **

**_Thanks. I think you're pretty cool, too. :)_ **

**_For living in a fucking crazy town, I mean._ **

**_I like the cursive. It looks neater and nicer. I'm glad you learnt to spell Hanukkah correctly, by the way._ **

**_As for your gift... You look nothing like I imagined. I'm not sure what I actually was imagining, but here we are. I won't correct the photo. There aren't any mistakes._ **

**_I found that photo of me lying around in my parent's room. That was taken nearer to Thanksgiving. My brother Ike kept annoying me, so excuse my angry expression, haha._ **

**_Penis fact; Spiders have detachable penises too, and often the females will straight up just eat them._ **

**_Happy New Year!_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Dont know what to say, you look as angry as you are in your letters, and I can see you getting into the holiday spirit with that frown.**

**Hah, sorry to disappoint then, Broccoli, but we can't all be winners, you know? sometimes we're just a five outta ten. don't really mind it much, because i know you're saying that to keep the picture.**

**In that case I'll be keeping yours, then, this frown of yours will be an inspiration for me whenever i write you a letter.**

**Valentine's day happened recently, took Wendy out sledding, we both tumbled down the hill after a good few hours being up and down in, but we had fun! she's really great.**

**Swampy.**

**PS. So you don't get lonely, ive left you a little something for the romantically expensive occasion. No homo bro**

 

Along with the envelope came a poorly cut out heart made out of red cardboard, the inscription, "best friends?" written in poor cursive at the front, all in blue ink. 

Stan laughed at himself, thinking about the act of being nothing more than just a joke Kyle knew he would deny, write some sort of correction then send back

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Surely, I don't sound that angry! And yes, I was very thankful for existence in that image. Also, I didn't say you not looking how I imagined was a bad thing. It's a neutral thing. I'll look at your dumb dopey smile to give me motivation to correct your letters. It's nice to have a face to attach to the words, though._ **

**_My photocopier broke after I photocopied your recent letter. Might have to get a new one. I bet you thought I own nothing of our letters, well think again. There's an ever-growing pile of paper on my desk. I'll have to find a spot for it all at some point. Where have you been putting them? I'd feel betrayed if you threw them out._ **

**_I got a Valentine, actually. It was about as illegible as your old letters, so I'm pretty sure it was from one of the assholes. Sledding sounds fun, though! I'm glad you both had a good time._ **

**_I'm comparing your writing with how we started, and I felt a surge of pride. I can't believe my Stanny boy is growing up! :') Any of your friends still have their pen pals?_ **

**_Penis fact; When a turtle is aroused, its penis increases by 50% in length and 75% in width. It ends up being about half the size of their body._ **

**_I'm running out of penis facts, Stan. What am I going to do?_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Broccoli_ **

**_PS. No homo._ **

 

Stan also found the cardboard heart sent back, as he'd expected. The question mark had been scribbled out and replaced with a full stop. There was a red pen heart next to it. Stan pinned it up on his corkboard with the photo of Kyle, smiling happily.

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Finally done with this elementary school shit! Didn't think it would end, honestly. Everything felt too slow until- BAM.**

**After you run out of dick facts, Kyle, maybe we can talk about other things. just a thought.**

**Summer's begun but im already thinking about high school. Where do you plan to go? Im still stuck here so you don't need to wonder where ill be.**

**i got the heart back, dunno if I should be happy or whatever from the correction you put on it. (By the time you get this, im probably happy). i keep all the letters you send, duh. Winter hasn't been too cold on us yet that I need some tinder to light the fireplace haha.**

**I know for sure Kenny still writes to his penpal because he shows me each letter he gets back, and Wendy still does too. come to think of it, you don't tell me a lot of people you hang out with all the way out there aside from all the assholes. Who are people who you tolerate?**

**i mean you're putting up with a dick like me so guess they can't be that bad right?**

**Swampy.**

**PS. I'd say congratulations on graduating but you probably grad the top of your class.**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_My dad finally got me a phone for my birthday! It was also a graduation present, I guess. I’m really excited for High School. I’m not sure what science I want to do yet... maybe I’ll just try all of them._ **

**_Dick fact: Bruchid Beetles have an absolutely horrifically spiked penis. It literally rips apart the female’s insides._ **

**_Give me a suggestion as to what to do after penis facts, then._ **

**_I’m going to a high school a town over, I’ve heard that they have really good science courses._ **

**_I know for a fact you don’t burn my letters, you’re too nice to do that. Still an asshole for joking about that, though. I hope you are happy about the heart by now._ **

**_Is Kenny still drawing the dicks? I hope you’ve been telling him about my penis facts, he might enjoy them._ **

**_When I’m not hanging out with my family, my only friend from here and I play video games. She’s fun to hang out with. She says hi, by the way._ **

**_And don’t put yourself down, you’re not that big of a dick._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Broccoli_ **

**_PS. I did, actually :). How’d you go?_ **

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Oooh a lady friend, huh? What's her name? Don't worry im not planning to steal her away, Kyle, just making small talk.**

**I graduated, that's the important part. all those honor placing aren't really my type of scene, but whoever does deserves it pretty much.**

**I think it's safe to say Kenny would pretty much like anything dick related, and I do tell him your dick facts. He says he wants to know more about human dicks, dunno if you should answer that.**

**My friends and I plan to go zip lining later this week to kick off the summer, I suggested it and they all were pretty into it. Wendy had to pass because she's going with her family upstate around the same time, so it's gonna be a sausage party. Do you like sausage? I'm always more of a hotdog kinda guy.**

**The heart's fine, it's safely placed along with the rest of the letters. No need to worry,** **best friend.**

**Swampy.**

**PS. I tooootally forgot about your birthday, sorry sorry. kenny and i thought you'd like this gift. happy belated birthday, Kyle.**

 

" _Dude, he's gonna fucking love it!_ ” Kenny assured with a muffled laugh, urging Stan to place the letter in the mailbox in front of South Park's post office.

"Just because you love dicks doesn't mean everybody loves dicks too, Kenny." Stan countered with a soft sigh, glueing his eyes to the letter in his hands, embellished with the addresses and postcards, ready to be sent. This letter had more weight than usual, every shift creating a quiet clang of metal.

" _Stan, c'mon. He shares penis facts every letter he sends to you, he'll love it!_ " Another shoulder shove from the other boy, the raven's hands slowly reaching to undo the latch of the town's mailbox.

"Yeah... True." Swallowing down his anxiety, he opened the box, placed the letter in, and slammed it shut in one fell swoop before he had a chance to change his mind. Kenny patted his shoulder in congratulations, a wide grin across the blond's face.

" _Did you write 'no homo?_ '" He asked with a chuckle, and Stan took a second before he answered.

"Shit!"

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Stan. I don’t even know how to feel. How did you manage to find a necklace with a penis on it? I’m impressed. Don’t want to wear it in case I get called names, so it’s up with your photo and the letters. I need a bigger cork board. Best birthday present ever, even better than my phone. :)_ **

**_My friend is reading over my shoulder, and she told me not to disclose her name in fear that you might come after her. Also, she’s more of a sister to me, I guess._ **

**_I’m glad you graduated. :)_ **

**_I don’t know how I feel about Kenny’s suggestion. What could I teach you that you don’t learn in sex ed? I’m glad he enjoys my penis facts, though._ **

**_Dick fact; the humble cat also has a barbed penis. I feel sorry for all these females :(. (Or males, I don’t judge.)_ **

**_Summer is half over now, how was zip lining?  I’ve been listening to Legally Blonde a lot because of you. I actually prefer hot dogs as well._ **

**_How’s Sparky? Haven’t heard about him for a while._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Your Best Friend, Kyle_ **

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Ziplining went terribly! Like fuck, Kenny almost died from herpes and everything was just- So boring! I would never recommend it to anyone, even if the ads say they're fun.**

**Aw, I'm not extreme like Cartman, and id rather be anywhere before I think about visiting New Jersey. Sorry, Kyle, but if we're ever going to meet it's gonna have to be in NOT there.**

**Kenny said anything penis-related about humans is fine, but I don't know why I asked him though, I'm the one reading your letters.**

**I broke the dam, btw. Don't believe what other people say, i Stan Marsh, broke the Beaverton dam.**

**Summer's almost over now, ready for high school?**

**Your best friend,**

**Stan.**

**PS. Thanks for remembering, Sparky's fine and he's been hanging with a friend, Big Gay Al, but he's still my dog so no I didn't give him away.**

**PPS. Yes, my dog is gay. He's still a good dog though.**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Oh shit! That sucks, I’m sorry you had a terrible time. Also, I agree with you on the whole ‘not meeting in New Jersey’ thing. Someone slapped my ass today in the school hallway and I still don’t know who..._ **

**_Alright, here’s my first human penis fact. This one’s for you, Kenny. If you have a male baby, ultrasounds can show them having random erections while in the womb. No one is really sure why._ **

**_I’m going to see Hamilton soon. Super excited about it. Also, of course, you broke the dam._ **

_**Well, schools on now. I’m trialing different classes. So far, I think I really like biology. Too bad I can’t focus on that for a few years until we can pick our own classes. :(. How’s your school going?** _

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. I accept Sparky for who he is. What a good boy._ **

\--------------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Damn, Kyle. You must be quite the catch if people are after your ass haha. You sure you don't have anyone?**

**Kenny appreciates your dick fact, and he asked if the doctors can believe the baby's penis could be mistaken for a twin? Because '** _my dick is huuuggeee!~_ **'**

 

The penmanship for that line was different. It was cleaner, more refined, and its ink-stained promiscuity on the paper. Kenny's handwriting.

 

**DUUUDEE! I'm super jelly, I can't watch the show since it's too far and tickets are impossible to get! How'd you manage that?**

**School's kicking off as well as it could, our old principal who was replaced back in the elementary is our high school principal. Never thought I'd see that blonde owl ever again, but i guess it's better than having the school being 'PC.'**

**Im really digging history, and the school's theatre department has more money! And-**

**wait for it**

**I'm the production and stage manager! Crazy right? guess they really liked my anti-bullying video i threw together a few years back in 4th grade.**

**guess book smarts aren't everything, huh Jersey boy?**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_I’m about a thousand percent sure that I have no one. Everyone is even worse now. Even my old friend has abandoned me to the ways of the Jersey people. You’re pretty much all I have._ **

**_Tell Kenny he’s amusing, but no. Penis size is quite small when the fetus is growing._ **

**_Penis fact; The whole ‘foot size’ correlation is actually incorrect. Age, height and oddly, index finger length directly correlate with how large someone’s penis is. But not how big your feet are. Go measure fingers with your friends._ **

**_I saw Hamilton, it was soooo good. Wish I could have seen it with you, haha. My dad won a raffle for a bunch of tickets. We took our family to see it._ **

**_PC is taken too far sometimes, but it’s good in moderation._ **

 

There was a drawing of an owl in faint yellow pen, poorly drawn but still clearly an owl.

 

_**Stan! I’m so proud about your theatre position! You totally deserve it, too. (Also, book smarts are useful for the majority of things, so shut up.)** _

**_I think I’m figuring out what college I want to go to, already. Which is kinda scary._ **

**_Your mistakes keep getting less and less every letter. Soon I won’t even need to correct and send them back._ **

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

 

Stan chuckled at the little drawing scribbled between the writing, the final line bringing a wide smirk across his face. _I'm close to getting back at Kyle!_

The raven raised his arms up in victory, his brought-up knees almost knocking off the small hill of schoolwork on his desk, smirk still present, Stan spun his swivel to face his cork board filled with his own letters. After three _\- three years?_ of writing to the redhead, he had to get two boards to accommodate them all.

The boy's picture and the heart he returned in the mail was also tacked onto its surface too. _That picture felt so long ago... Maybe I should ask for another one?_

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Aren't you thinking a bit too far in life? It's not even the end of the year yet, you should learn to live the moment now, Kyle. Not much use planning if you're dead.**

**But maybe that's just me living in South park all my life, i'm not too sure.**

**It's almost Halloween! You're not gonna go and catch a flu on me again, are you? I'd like to see what your plans are this year.**

**I'm still jealous! I wish I could go see it, should've asked you to record it illegally and send it over, haha.**

**We already began on our production! Cartman managed to 'convince' everyone to do Heathers, and i'm not too against the idea, but i couldve done with less blackmail. It's gonna be great!**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy.**

**PS. Taking Sparky to the vet later this week, he's been making these weird coughing noises. Sounds like he's choking on dick or something. he's gay so i can make those sorts of jokes**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Is Sparky okay? I hope he is, that little guy is beloved by me. Also, not sure if that’s how making gay jokes works, but I’ll accept it._ **

**_I’ve decided I want to go to Princeton. It’s in my state anyway, and it’s an Ivy League school. If I keep my studies up as I have been, I should be able to get in. Maybe you should think about your future, too._ **

**_It was your birthday recently! I got you a matching necklace to mine. Don’t ask how I found it. Also attached is a photo of my broccoli Halloween costume. I went trick or treating with Ike, so that was both fun and annoying. What did you do? Also, get any good presents for your birthday?_ **

**_Recording musicals is bad for their livelihood, Stan. You should know this, being a theatre geek. Also, yay! Heathers is one of my favourite musicals. :). I’m imagining you as Chandler and it’s making me laugh._ **

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. Happy Three Years <3_ **

\----------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**You killed it with that broccoli costume haha! Your hair really does look like a piece of broccoli, and damn you've changed from how you looked in the first picture you sent.**

**Thought I'd send you a picture for our town's annual Monster Mash halloween party too, Wendy and I decided to go as Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy. Luckily she didn't ditch the plan and go with Chewbacca again.**

**I got a few good gifts, but your ass necklace really stood out among all of them, where did you even find this? (Not gonna wear it though, i'll just keep it in my shrine of corrected letters you keep sending back haha).**

**I'm obviously a Veronica, but Cartman heard me say this and said he'd be JD and I'm not too stoked on the idea anymore.**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy.**

**PS. It's the holidays now, Happy Hanukkah, Kyle!**

**PPS. Three years, huh? Let's make it to four <3**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Thank you! Now you know why people call me Broccoli. I bet no one else calls you Swampy. That’s because I’m original and think more than most. Puberty is going strong, Stan. I’m even growing a bit!_ **

**_You two look so cute! How long has it been with Wendy? I’m never going to be able to beat your record if we’ve only got three years under the belt, haha._ **

**_Hah, as I got to this bit, Candy Store started playing on my music. Also, has the fat ass calmed down at all? I know he just blackmailed people, but surely he can’t be running riots on Jews anymore..._ **

**_You didn’t tell me how Sparky is! I’m worried about the good boy!_ **

**_Merry Christmas, Stan._ **

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

\-----------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Hey Kyle... Happy new year.. So i got news, and it explains I haven't written back since the last time, which was like- two or three weeks ago?**

**So Al brought Sparky to the vet. Turns out he's got Parvo.**

**Yeaah... It's kinda.. Bad.**

**Real bad.**

**I'll write back soon, sorry.**

**Happy new year.**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy.**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

 

There were a bunch of drawings of different breeds of dog, likely because Stan had never told him what breed he was, with a black-haired stick figure. Some were walking, some were eating, they all varied. There was a title done in familiar cursive that said ‘Sparky + Swampy’.

 

**_I’m so sorry, Stan. I hope he’s okay._ **

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. I’m here for you._ **

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**Im sorry I haven't written in a while, Kyle. Just- A lot of things happened.**

**Finished the year, so that's great. How are things over there for you in New Jersey?**

**Thanks for the drawing, by the way. I love it. And Sparky loved it too, brought a dumb smile to his face. Didn't want to take it away from him, so sadly the letter is with him now, and to make sure he doesn't eat it I framed it.**

**The frame's with him, don't worry. I picked out the best spot in the graveyard for him, under a nice shady tree.**

**I'm sorry.**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy.**

**PS. Thanks. For being there**

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_It’s okay, I understand. You wouldn’t be the first one to forget about me, haha._ **

**_I barely scraped the top of the class this year, don’t know why but I couldn’t concentrate properly. I’m working on it. Onwards and upwards to ninth grade, I guess._ **

**_My birthday was okay. Didn’t really get much, but it’s fine, I guess. I wore your dumb necklace._ **

**_I’m sorry you lost him, Stan. I really am. I wish I could have met him. I’m glad he can appreciate my poorly drawn art._ **

**_Your best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. I’ve been lacking on the penis facts recently, but I haven’t seen you complaining. I can’t believe you didn’t miss them. >:(_ **

~~**_PPS. I missed you_ ** ~~

 

Stan clutched the letter in his hands, drawing a deep breath before shakily breathing it out. He missed a lot of things, and the raven knew what he missed. _Sparky, Kyle's birthday, and writing to the boy himself._

"All right. All right.." He took out a pencil. It was new, and the bite marks were freshly pressed on its wood, the old ones he went through remained as stubs stabbed onto the cork board, reminding the boy how many pencils he had gone through ever since the start.

He swung his legs beneath his chair as he sat, doing a full arc again and again. He didn't feel used to it, somebody always filled that space beneath him.

But Stan figured that half of the summer was more than enough time to mourn, and it was about time to return to writing back to Kyle and fill some  _odd_ space inside him.


	4. Super Best Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pen writes whatever the mind is willing to push forward onto the paper. However, Kyle can tell if his pen pal isn't being sincere with his words. This chapter, the pen pals crack the big question (not marriage), and an interesting figure comes into play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry this took a bit. things got caught up for both of us but now we're here to give you m o r e .  
> bean's having some trouble so, it'd be real nice of y'all if you could show support to her and these troubling times. troubling times indeed.
> 
> anywho, enjoy the chapter
> 
> -mana
> 
> ps. bean probably says hi

###  **CHAPTER 4: Super Best Friends?**

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**I'm not too into dicks like you so I don't really miss 'em, but it was funny reading them every time.**

**Sorry I missed your birthday, Kyle. I didn't mean to, had to carry on managing the play and exams and just-**

**I missed writing to you all that time, and having two things missing kinda brought me down.**

**Haha, guess we both lost concentration for a while, huh? And it's only going to be Eight grade.**

**How's the summer been for you? Hopefully not as boring as mine. For the first time in my history in this fucking town, I literally didn't have MUCH to do, it was weird.**

**Your best friend,**

**Swampy.**

**PS. I was looking at my board and I noticed there was something wrong with one of your corrections. So I sent it back and I thought you should take another look at it.**

 

Stan felt cheeky, yet nervous about how the redhead would react to what he sent along with the letter. An old paper heart, a thumbtack hole right between its middle, and the red-stained correction of _Best friends_. written at its center.

This time, there was another stroke of a word in lively blue ink above the two words and its red. Joining all of it, it was simple but brought a whole new change to the term.

 

 **_Super_ ** _Best friends?_

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_I made you something. It’s with this letter but read the rest first._ **

**_I’m going to continue the dick facts, not because of me, but simply because they make you laugh._ **

**_Dick fact; When some people die, they get one final erection. It’s most common in victims of hanging, but I think that’s amusing, to kill someone publicly back in the day and then see their dead body packing a tent._ **

**_Summer is going alright. I’ve gotten my hands on a senior biology textbook, so I’ve been poring over that. No one really wants to hang out and Ike has been playing games, so it’s just me and my books, I guess._ **

**_It’s okay that you didn’t reply immediately, Stan. I get that you were feeling a little overwhelmed. I just thought you’d given up on me._ **

**_Your Super Best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

 

Inside the envelope was an origami heart that said, _‘Super Best Friends.’_ in a familiar red cursive. It went on the cork board immediately.

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**I had to send this quickly just to tell you that I'd never give up on you, Kyle. It was a pretty horrible low point in my life a few weeks ago, but I wouldn't just stop talking to you. I wouldn't do that to my Super best friend.**

**Okay, a bit fucked up of a fact, but a fact all the same. Kenny said he found the fact accurate and relatable, whatever that means.**

**Glad it's been going all right, we almost burned the town (again) during the 4th of July this year, check it on the news sometimes if you see it. Now the entire state is putting a strict ban on fireworks this time thanks to South Park, doubt we'll listen though.**

**Thanks for the heart, and thanks for keeping the old one.**

**Your Super Best friend,**

**Swampy.**

**_PS. Wendy says hi._ **

The post scriptum looked stiff in its lettering, different to the carefree smoothness Stan's handwriting had grown to be.

 

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_Thanks, Stan... It really means a lot._ **

**_Not sure what Kenny meant either, but here’s the new one._ **

**_Dick fact; You can actually break your penis, even though there isn’t a bone in it. Penile fracture is the rupture of the fibrous covering of the corpora cavernosa, which is the tissue that becomes erect when engorged with blood. Apparently, it happens during vigorous sex, so I guess I’m not going to break my dick any time soon._ **

**_I did see that on the news, your town is so weird. The heart goes on my board._ **

**_You didn’t make a single mistake in your last letter. I feel sad and proud at the same time. Your handwriting is understandable, and your grammar is impeccable. I can’t fault it. You’ve come a long way, Marshmallow._ **

**_Your Super Best friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. Hi Wendy!!_ **

\---------------

**_2001 E. Bonanza St. :260_ **

**_South Park, CO_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Dear Kyle,_ **

**_I think that it's great that Stan has kept in touch with his pen-pal since fifth grade, and what you two have is none of my business._ **

_**But I'd appreciate it a lot if my boyfriend didn't have to spend late nights trying to write a letter to send back to you. He's fallen asleep in his classes four times, and even more during theater practices!** _

**_I'm not saying you should stop this outright, but you're smart, and you understand what I mean._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Wendy Testaburger._ **

**_PS."Super best friends?" Cute. You wouldn't tell Stan about this letter right? Because, these things are supposed to be confidential between the two and only them._ **

\------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**I didn't? Well ah isn't that a surprise. Did it on my own, totally haha!**

**thanks Kyle it means a lot, better than the chicken scratch i started with before, huh?**

**So far Eight grade has been- interesting. Theater's going well! Trying to pitch in a new musical for the troupe to perform late this year. Hopefully theyll like some founding fathers.**

**Kyle, you'd tell me the truth on things right? Im not saying I don't trust, you, but I'm just asking.**

**Hope you're doing well.**

**Your Super Best Friend,**

**Swampy.**

 

This letter looked more rushed than the others, although withholding Stan's writing style, it looked like the words were quickened, the paper showing creases here and there on its surface.

 

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

 

**_Swampy,_ **

**_...Are you sure you did that yourself? And yes, much better than the chicken scratch._ **

**_Oh shit! I never asked how Heathers went! I’m so sorry! How was it? I hope they accept having some good old rapping, though if they did Heathers last year, I think you’re good._ **

**_And yes... of course. I wouldn’t lie to you, Stan. Is everything okay? This letter was a bit crumpled... and it needs correcting._ **

**_Let me know what’s going on!_ **

**_Your Super Best Friend,_ **

**_Broccoli._ **

**_PS. There’s another sheet of paper in here that I’d like you to give to Wendy. I’d prefer if you didn’t read it._ **

 

The letter read, not that Stan would know, as follows.

 

**_Dear Wendy,_ **

**_I’ve never said a single thing rude about you. I’m not sure where this is coming from? You say it’s none of your business but here you are, telling me what Stan’s doing and asking me to practically stop sending letters._ **

**_At the end of the day, though I don’t like to hear he’s losing sleep over this, it isn’t my decision for him to stay up. If you have an issue with it, it’d probably be best to take it up with Stan._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Kyle Broflovski_ **

 

 _Another piece of paper?_ Stan brought down the letter for him and took a glance at the neatly folded piece of paper, simply written with _Wendy_ in bold red ink. What did this mean? Wondered the raven. _Fuck, did he pick up on the no-mistake thing?_ Knew it was too good to be believable. Hesitantly, Stan reached to grab his phone, pulling up Wendy's contact and sending a quick message, taking a second before he pressed send.

 

To: CallGirl<3

Hey uh Wendy? My penpal Kyle sent a letter for you.

 

He was about to follow with another message until the girl on the other side beat him to the draw.

 

From: CallGirl<3

Really? What a surprise! I'll pick it up when I visit for Thanksgiving dinner, Stan.

 

To: CallGirl<3

Can't wait to see you here, but why'd he send you a letter though?

 

From: CallGirl<3

Don't worry about it, Stan! I'm sure he just wanted to say hi. You did mention me in your PS after all. See you later?

 

To: CallGirl<3

Yeah yeah, i'll see you then

 

From: CallGirl<3

Love you, Stan!

 

To: CallGirl<3

love you too

 

Seeing small messages from her always brought a smile to his face, but something about the timing of Kyle's separate letter didn't sit well with Stan. _Why doesn't he want me to see it? Is it something bad?_ Setting everything on his desk with a sigh, he spun his chair around to watch the orange scenery outside, leaves blowing past his window, his eyes keeping up with individual pieces as they fly past.

_How long has it been? 4 years now?_

The raven sighed and rose from his chair.

He can write to Kyle later, for now, he feels like taking in some fresh air, maybe visit Kenny and hang out, or perhaps catch things up with Sparky.

_Maybe Wendy was right..._

He grabbed his phone and pulled on a hoodie, as it was starting to get colder outside. Stan liked Fall, with all the colors and leaves he could step on that made that satisfying crunch sound.

He left the house without bothering to say anything to his parents. His mom was working, and his dad was most likely recording some music for his career in the garage.

He walked outside and paused beside the empty lot next to his house. He’d heard that they had plans to build a house there finally, it had been empty and filled with random shit that could probably give you diseases for as long as he could remember.

Even now, he could see a hobo trying to catch some rats near the old shopping cart that had been dumped there a couple of years back. There were random puddles of muck and red stuff that Stan hoped wasn’t blood scattered around the dead grass.

He saw the hobo glance up and notice him, so he decided to keep moving before the guy could come closer. Best not to interact with them, honestly.

Stan continued towards his destination, looking around at the colors around him and stepping on leaves to hear the crunch.

By the time he made it to the graveyard, the sun was beginning to set. He moved past all the graves for people and towards the smaller, sectioned off pet area.

He walked straight towards the tree, and sat down next to the new-ish overturned dirt, leaning on the trunk. There was a crudely made headstone that simply read ‘Sparky. We’ll miss you, you homo.’ Underneath the sloppy inscription was a framed picture of Kyle’s drawing, and it made Stan smile briefly.

“Hey, Sparks. I miss you.”

The raven glanced up past the looming branches overhead, a palette of yellow, orange and red dancing in the Autumn breeze. And the wind is a _convincing dancer, for it has managed to pluck the leaves from their branches, joining it on a short but sweet pirouette, until gracefully swaying to rest on the yellowing grass below._

Stan's been catching up on his reading, its side effects being that every little detail in the world around him felt like a dramatic stage performance, with every little action a gracious movement for the delight of-

He shook his head, snapping him away of his ever-straying thoughts, which had been sent in a frenzy these past few weeks. Even the past month.

"Still miss you trying to hump my leg whenever I'm sat next to the desk," Stan spoke to the modest headstone with a light sigh, kicking a small gathering of red leaves that accumulated in front of his shoes.

Red's a pretty color, he thought, but he wasn't sure what brought him to be mesmerized by the primary color, and why the mere thought of it still fueled a flaming roar in his stomach.

Stan shrugged his shoulders, watching the crinkling leaves dance in the wind before settling back down.

The headstone had been carved by Stan himself. His dad had gone out and gotten a rock, then given Stan a crude hammer and chisel, and simply said ‘get to work’.

The lettering was all shaky, but at least it was still legible. Even thinking about his own handwriting kept bringing his thoughts back to the one thing he was meant to be avoiding.

He leant his head on the tree and looked up. The setting sun was causing the sky to turn pink and purple, and that combined with the red leaves produced a beautiful color scheme.

“It’s been really lonely without you.” He said softly. “People have auditioned for Hamilton, but half of them just want to be in it because it’s well known, and we can’t handle many chorus members, so I’m going to have to pick and choose.”

“Life’s okay, I guess. Halloween is soon, but I don’t think I’m going to do anything this year. Nothing special, anyway...”

Stan continued mindlessly babbling for around forty-five minutes, until the sun was down and the chill had kicked in. He rose from his spot and stretched, patting the headstone lightly before heading off.

_Should I go see Wendy now?_

The boy allowed himself to think about the matter on the walk back to his house, taking the longest route possible to get there. Street lamps provided illumination, and the Autumn cheer was thick in the air. Stan could practically smell the cinnamon, turkey, and pumpkin pie inside every home as he passed by them, faint noises muffling through facade windows, spilling into the sidewalk.

This year was Wendy's turn to come over for Thanksgiving, and although he didn't really want to return home as of the moment, he couldn't really ditch the girl and the tradition they've accidentally made and persisted for years.

Stan stepped onto the driveway of his house, registering the mailbox at the corner of his periphery before he moved on, walking to the door. _No, not tonight._

He didn't see the need to knock, so he let himself inside, the door clicking shut behind him.

"Hey, Stan!" The cheery greeting and the scent of what could only describe the holiday wafted into his senses, blinking a few times to register the scene in front of him.

For a start, the living room was clean, and so was the dining section, its table draped with a neat white cloth of intricate finishes. Above it laid a growing feast, each plate and platter of food being carried out from the kitchen.

But that wasn't what caught the raven's attention, _of course, they'd go overboard with fucking Thanksgiving_ , it was the two-more than usual bodies that walked around with the rest of his family, and Wendy.

"Hi, Wendy. Wh- What's going on?" Stan stuttered out the question, pointing to the girl's mother, who was giving Sharon a hand with a basket of bread.

"I thought it would be a good idea to have my family over this year! Isn't it great?" She said sweetly, clasping her hands together in delight in front of the boy.

"Y-yeah. Great." He mustered a smile, though his answer didn't match the unsure tone in his voice.

They all sat around the table, Stan eyeing everyone warily. They all looked too happy. Something was off. They slowly went around the circle and said what they were all thankful for.

Wendy went on a massive speech about feminism, so Stan tuned out and thought about what he should write in his new letter. _I don’t know... If I should say anything._

He felt eyes on him, and an arm nudging him. He blinked, wide-eyed, before realizing it was his turn.

“I’m thankful for....” What was he thankful for? “For... my friends. And the food we will eat tonight.” He said simply, startling when his mom cleared her throat at him. “What?”

“Aren’t you thankful for Wendy, too?” Stan’s mouth felt dry.

“Yeah. She was included in ‘friends’.” His mom nodded, and they continued until everyone was done, then they could eat.

The turkey was decent, the whole meal was. Stan just felt a bit uncomfortable with everyone around, being all happy. That was when, _finally_ , someone said something.

“So! What I want to talk about is you two!” Wendy’s mother said, gesturing between her daughter and Stan. “How is everything?”

“It’s fine- “

“Oh, it’s going great! Stan is great! We haven’t fought for a while, and he’s always there to support me! Aren’t you, Stan?” Wendy made eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I guess...” He said quietly. _Of course_ , they wanted to talk about that.

“How long has it been? Like, five years? I think that you two might be together forever!” _Together forever, with Wendy?_ Something about that made Stan feel trapped, so he frowned and opened his mouth to retort.

"I-"

"Easy there, you two. Don't tie the knot too quickly or else you'll be stuck in a dead-end marriage like-"

"Randy, please!"

"The two of them used to be so adorable back when they were kids." Mrs. Testaburger felt the burbling argument, and quickly spoke to avoid an incident between the boy's parents.

"I think I have pictures of them. Randy, if you'd be so kind to get the photo album from the bookshelf?" Sharon wiped the corners of her mouth neatly, her soft glare gravitating over to her husband sat at the end of the table.

"Oooh~ Embarrassing Stan? Count me in." His father chimed with a grin, eagerly standing up from his seat to retrieve the many photo albums that held the family's past in poorly taken pictures.

Wendy giggled in anticipation, her mother breathed a sigh of relief at the return of the cheery mood, and Mr. Testaburger watched the whole scene with a bottle of beer.

Everyone was so engaged with each other, and the room couldn't be happier.

 

But Stan blocked out everything that permeated in the room, closing off all entries to his mind, and focused only on what bounced inside him. His conversation with Wendy from a few weeks back still wore heavy on his chest, and if feelings were a hand of cards, he'd be debating if he should show anger or betrayal.

"Don't you remember this one, Stanley? You two looked so cute." Her mother's words and the mention of his name snapped the raven back to reality, the itchy feeling of people's eyes gathered on him making him grow nervous. _The bad kind of nervous._

"I uh- huh?" Stan quirked an eyebrow, dancing his gaze along every pair of eyes in the room, finally settling on the sharpest, the pair that seemed to stare daggers at the boy.

"Stan and I will be right back~" Wendy hummed sweetly, hopping out of her seat and tugging on the Stan's hoodie, they were sat next to each other on the table, not like he noticed.

"Where are we going?" Although reluctant, he gave up to the tugging and got up from his chair as well, allowing the girl to wrap her arm around his, beginning to drag him to the door.

"Just for a walk! We'll be right back," Wendy didn't look back at her parents and the Marshes, her attention focused on the door and up at the boy, her vacant hand opening the front entrance and quickly dragging Stan out with her, the door swinging shut behind her.

"Aah. They're already in the midlife crisis."

"Randy, God! -"

"So, how's Stan been?" Again, Mrs. Testaburger interjected to stomp out the growing bickering between the two, her offspring being quite the opposite at this current moment.

 

The two's walk was short. Very short. Only making to the sidewalk in front of his house.

"Okay, Stan. What's up?" Wendy slipped her arm free from Stan's as she asked with a bright tune to her voice, skipping a few steps away from him, crushing a leaf at every step.

"I don't... Know what you mean?" The raven slowly brought out his words, the chilly breeze making the boy sound stiffer than he is. Or maybe he just was.

"Cut the crap, you know exactly what I mean." She snapped back, turning her eyes to look at him, the quick motion causing a strand of her hair to stray from the others, obscuring half of her eye.

"Gee, if you know so much then why are you asking?" Stan responded just as quickly, but his words lacked fire, which the girl had in furnaces. All masked by a sweet smile stretched neatly across her face.

"Because, Stan. Didn't we talk about this?" Wendy tucked away the rogue bunch of jet-black hair behind her ear, bringing her hands to clasp together in front of her body, taking slow skips over to her raven-haired boyfriend.

"I-"

"Didn't we?" She affirmed, stopping her feet when they found themselves right in front of Stan.

For a moment, they froze and exchanged a look, brewing fire behind the girl's gray eyes and the icy numb blue of the raven. Arguing was something Stan never wanted to do with Wendy, and although the two had delved into messy fights in the past, this wasn't like the rest.

Where heated fire used to burn the two in their arguments before. Right now felt cold, and the burn came from the invisible venom spat in the past few weeks. Venom that has numbed the boy's senses, leaving him dazed and conflicted.

"Wendy, I know, but-"

"But what, Stan? But. What." Wendy didn't give him the slightest slither of air to speak. Relentless, she brought her feet below her, and stood up to her full height, still finding herself shorter than the raven in front of him.

"I don't understand why you want me to stop writing to him. I mean, he's not hurting anybody-" Stan said as much as he could, his words rushed and unsure before the shorter girl cut him off,

"No, Stan. He's hurting you! These past weeks have been ridiculous, I've seen it more and more!"

 _Here we go._ Stan said to himself as the frown dug further down his face. _And here she starts with-_

"You've been sleeping in class more, you've been ditching Kenny and Cartman more and more- Hell, you've even fallen behind on the school's theater production!" Her words began to grow in volume, each words carrying out more intensity.

 _Stop it_ , those two words hung on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't find it in himself to say it, his eyebrows furrowed in irritation, he was angry. But not at her for listing down his faults that had happened recently.

But because she's right about all of them.

Stan's vision blurred, and her words began to grow distant. Slowly, he opens his mouth, feeling around how dry his mouth has gotten until he tried to speak.

"Wendy-"

"First the hoarding problem, then that dumb _fucking_ idea with the crowdfunding scheme, now this? It's like every fucking time you find new ridiculous ways of destroying yourself, and I'm just here to watch!"

"Wendy!"

"WHAT?!"

Her scream snapped his vision clear, his perception back to normal. Now he could see the tears that raced down the girl's cheeks, and he could register the angry- No, _desperate_ tone in her voice.

"...What, Stan?" Wendy's words seemed to run out of fire, as if the singular outburst snuffed out the flames inside, leaving a cold smoldering in its wake. Her head hung low, choking down the tears that followed down the singular stream down her face, dripping down at her chin to the dark sidewalk.

"..Are you just-" Wendy tried to move her arms, only managing a slight movement before they hung lifelessly at her sides. Stan couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Shakily, her voice came out in a quiet whisper, as if she gave up on reasoning with him. "Are you just... Going to shut me out and stop listening to me again?"

 _Stop it!_ Stan yelled in his mind, it wasn't for anybody but himself, and the urge crawling inside him to make her understand about writing to-

_Stop it, you're hurting her. I need to stop it._

The girl in front of her fell silent after her voice found no drive to continue, exposed hands fisted in her clothes as the breeze howled by, but the loud winds couldn't drown out the near-quiet cries that wisped from the noirette. It was the only thing Stan could hear.

Quietly, yet quickly, Stan wrapped his arms tightly around her, drawing the girl against his chest as he held her close. In that moment, the all-confident and fervent Wendy, though the same towards the raven-haired boy, could also become fragile and fraught. These were one of those moments, where she allowed her tears to spill over, her voice returning just to let out a quiet cry.

"I _-.." Wendy doesn't deserve what I'm doing to her, she hasn't done anything but think about me._ Stan convinced himself, and in a hush whisper, he decided.

"I'll stop writing to Kyle."

 

\----------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Kyle,**

**I'm sorry, something came up. I can't send you letters anymore.**

**Stan.**

 

Kyle shook as he read and reread the eleven words multiple times, eyes wide and mouth agape. _No, no no no no no..._ He checked the back of the letter, hoping maybe, _please_ , it was a joke, but there was nothing.

"No..." He whispered, jaw quivering as his eyes threatened to spill over. _Why..._ He got up off his desk and brought the letter with him over to his bed. He sat down and wiped his nose, annoyed that he had forgotten to replace his tissue box. He'd assumed that he wouldn't need it, because he didn't cry.

He let a few tears spill over his cheeks, gripping the piece of paper tightly. The handwriting was unfamiliar and shaky, and it made it hurt even more. Kyle wiped his face on his sleeve, standing up and moving over to his cork boards, scanning for anything, any sign, that he could have spotted.

" **I'd never give up on you, Kyle.** "

Kyle pulled that particular letter down, ignoring the way it ripped off of the pins. _Why, Stan? Why have you given up on me?_ He let out a sob.

"We were super best friends..." He looked around his room, breath wavering. "You were all I had...”

\-----------------

**_801 Walnut Ave_ **

**_Northfield, NJ 08225_ **

**_USA_ **

**_Swampy,_ **

**_I don't understand. Did I do something wrong? Why can't you send me letters anymore? .... Is this related to the letter Wendy sent me about you neglecting your own health? I don't... I don't want you to prioritize me over yourself..._ **

**_Stan. You're literally all I have. I'm down here surrounded by idiots with a family who can't be bothered trying to get beyond the huge walls I have up. Every letter made me so unbelievably happy... Was I the only one who truly felt friendship? Was half of this out of pity?_ **

**_I need you, Stan. I can't get through this fucking shithole without you. Please don't say it's over._ **

~~**_You said you wouldn't give up on me._ ** ~~

**_~~Your Super~~    ~~Sincerely~~ ~~Love~~_ ** **_-Broccoli._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a like and smash subscribe and we'll see you in the next episode  
> -mana


	5. Wendy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan can only kept how little patience he had for so long. Adjusting for his girlfriend was something he could do, turning a blind eye once he knew Wendy did something however, was just a bit too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's me yo boi back at you again with another chapter. 
> 
> unfortunately bean is still busy with many things, some more important than others, but bean appreciated your messages of her getting better, and hopes she can be on soon after she's taken care of all the iffy bits. but for now, enjoy what the two of us continue to deliver, whatever this mess is 
> 
> ps. i sure love stendy  
> -mana

###  **CHAPTER 5: Wendy.**

To say that receiving another letter being a surprise was an understatement. Kyle had poured his heart out into it, and fully expected it to be completely ignored. But here his dad was, handing him a letter with the familiar handwriting on it. Half of him didn't want to open it, but he took it upstairs anyway. He'd refilled the tissue box in his room since he'd last needed it, so he took it over to his desk and sat down, flipping the envelope over and steeling his nerves. _It'll just be a goodbye or something._ He opened it carefully and unfolded the letter.

\-----------------

**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260**

**South Park, CO**

**USA**

**Broccoli,**

**What are you talking about? I never said any of that. Im sorry it took me a while to reply, I**

**Wait. What letter Wendy sent you? oh fuck. Kyle.. she must have sent something.. i'm so fucking sorry. It's not over, Broccoli. I said I wouldn't give up on you, and I fucking meant it. you're my goddamn escape from this hellhole. of course i feel happy when you send me things. I** **lo-** **think you're incredible... i can't believe this. im going to go send this then talk to her.**

**christ, Kyle. I'm so sorry.**

**Your Super Best Friend,**

**Swampy.**

\-----------------

Stan grabbed his stamp book and slapped them on angrily. He'd waited until night time to read the letter, as he was afraid of Wendy catching him. _Wendy_ . He felt a burning rage boiling inside his stomach. _How fucking dare she. She had no right to do that. I get that she was upset about me neglecting her and myself, but there's no reason for her to go and attack Kyle._

He pulled on his shoes and coat quickly, storming outside and slamming the front door behind him. He posted the letter immediately and then set off on his way to Wendy's house, a deep frown on his features.

" _Woah, Stanny. Where's the fire?_ " Hopping down a house's drainpipe, Kenny jogged over to Stan as he gave out a holler, the raven-head stopped in his apparent warpath to quickly scope the facade of the house the blond came from.

"Dude, what were you doing in Butters' house?" His frown persisted and his words sounded more like an angered growl, the other boy grinning in response as he stopped in front of him, holding his hands to his front in defence.

" _Not important. But what is though, is you~_ ” Kenny pointed a finger and pressed it quickly against the boy's chest, chuckling as Stan snapped his eyes down at the finger as if it offended him. He swatted his hand away.

" _Ouch. So, what's the sitch', Stanny-boy? Somebody pet-cemetery'd your dog?_ "

"Dude- “

" _Sorry, sorry. Bad joke._ " Stan groaned out a coarse sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before continuing on walking, muttering a goodbye to Kenny before he started down the sidewalk once more.

" _Oh no-no~ I'm not letting you go with a look like that,_ " the sandy-haired blond stopped in front of him, a lax smile tacked onto his features, an opposite to the uptight and angered look on the raven.

"Look like what?" _I might as well bite, so he can leave quicker_ , Stan fired the question, an eyebrow raised sharply, only for the boy in front of him to pull his hood down with a wider grin, as white as the gathering snow of December around them.

"Like you're gonna fuck some shit up, dude." Kenny laid down his words easily, and it managed to knock some wind out of the raven's sails.

He opened his mouth to counter, but no words came out. He settled for a deep sigh, taking a step back from the blond to breathe in the crisp winter air, and to cool his mind.

"Stan, c'mon. I'm your friend," Kenny didn't let up, and Stan would've wholeheartedly believed that he truly cared if not for the lopsided grin stretched across the blond's face.

"Yeah, I know just-" he gave himself a second to breathe before he continued, "Remember Kyle?"

"Your dick fact-sending pen pal? Sure I do! Why, did he _finally_ decide to send you nudes?" The raven groaned while Kenny laughed out loud, his carefree laughs echoing through the empty dark streets.

"Jesus Christ- No, Kenny. He didn't."

"Aww, shame~ So what did happen?"

"Ugh, I think Wendy wrote him something that told him to stop writing to me or something." Stan began to explain with an exasperated breath, the boy in front of him nodding firmly at the end of the sentence.

"Mmhm. How very _Wendy_ of her."

Stan didn't know if he should nod in agreement or snap at Kenny for that comment. It was true, he knew that much, but he still knew that Wendy still watched out and cared about him. Right?

"Uncool, man. Didn't talk any shit to Tammy Warner when you two were dicking two years ago."

"Hey!" The blond gave his shoulder a nudge, though his grin grew ever wider, splitting across his face, "You called her a whore back then, you're no innocent!"

"You were happy about that!"

"Yeaahh, but still-"

"G-get out of my way, Kenny." Stan shoved the boy aside and continued walking, but they both knew that it took more than that to silence the unexpected blond.

"Dude, c'mon, think about this. What're you gonna do when you get there? Get mad at her?"

"Well...Yeah!"

"Not a good plan, if I'll be honest."

Snow began to fall as the two continued to walk down the neighborhood, passing by the almost completed house right next to Stan's. Kenny once again stood in front of his way.

"Stan, buddy. I know it looks bad, your girlfriend was a bit of a bitch but- Maybe don't do this? You can just write to Kyle every now and again, y'know? And still have time for Wendo' and the rest of us."

Kenny made.. _A pretty good point_ , Stan had to admit, but-

_I made Kyle think he lost everything._

"Can you just let me go?" Stan spat out. Wendy was being completely unreasonable. Just because he wasn't taking as good care of himself since Sparky died... It wasn't Kyle's fault. And now he'd be blaming himself for Stan's mistakes, thanks to Wendy. Hell, Kyle was one of the only reasons he wasn't holed up in his room mourning.

"...Why do you care about someone you've never met more than any of us?" That made Stan stop in his tracks, face falling slack. "You spend more time writing to him than you do hanging out with any of your actual friends." Kenny spread his arms out. "I'm right here, and I'm real. And _I'm here for you_. But you go off yammering to some kid from New Jerse-"

"He's not just some kid, Kenny!" Stan said immediately. "He's... he's my best friend. My super best friend. And Wendy hurt him."

"You've never met him before, Stan. How can you be sure you'll get along as well as you think you will?" Stan looked away.

"I just know, okay?! This is why I never tell you guys anything!" Stan protested, beginning to walk forwards again.

"Just... Be careful. Don't hurt Wendy." Kenny said calmly, hands back in pockets. Stan watched him for a couple of seconds as he flipped his hood up and walked off before turning and continuing his walk. The snow was settling in his hair, and he wished he'd brought a scarf for the trip.

As the familiar house came into view, Stan wondered whether he should go and knock on the front door or go by Wendy's window. He decided on the latter, in order to avoid Wendy's parents more than anything. He struggled up the side of the house, and tumbled through the open window, making Wendy, who was at her desk, turn around.

"Hi, babe. What are you doing here?" She asked with an innocent smile, but Stan _knew_ what she had done, and the anger began to fester again.

Stan brushed himself off as he stood back up, closing the window behind him to muffle out the howling winds from outside, he didn't say anything, not even a simple hello to his girlfriend, whose room he just broke into without consent.

"Stan? What's wrong?" Wendy grew curious from the drawn out silence, standing herself up from her chair and began to walk over to the raven. "It's cold outside, why're you-" She lovingly placed a hand on his arm, but Stan quickly turned himself around, drawing up to his full height as he brushed her hands aside.

"Don't," his voice came out more aggressively then he would've liked, but he can't take anything back now. _Just like what she did with Kyle,_ but his momentum got stunted by the girl's frightened expression, holding her hand close to her chest as she took a step back.

As much as he was angry, and he was. He couldn't deny that he still loved her, even after what she did.

 _But it was because he loved her that he feels betrayed that she'd do that behind his back._ Stan drew out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers before he started over.  
  
"Why, Wendy?"  
  
"I don't know what-"

"Don't pull a _me_ , you know what I mean!"  Even with his sails losing considerable wind, he was still housing anger towards the noirette, who returned his look with a lost expression.

"Stan, I don't know what you're talking about. I- You just got here!" She pointed out, gesturing to the window. He groaned, stepping past her as he wandered around the room, "Look, Wendy. I know you're just looking out for me but-"

_No. This is for Kyle._

"You talk to me about what's good for me before you do anything about it!" Stan snapped, planting his feet firmly on the carpeted floor next to the girl's desk.

"Wait... Is this about Kyle?"

Stan sighed in response, looking at Wendy with a dull look that said _what do you think?_ He wrung his hands angrily and watched as a glare enveloped the girl's features.

"Oh for gods- You know that boy isn't good for you!" She exclaimed, looking at him earnestly, which made Stan scoff.

"He's done nothing wrong! Nothing!" Stan said, determined to make her see that the Jersey boy he'd grown so attached to was not actively out to hurt him. "I'm the one who's destroying myself! He's always been sitting over there, supporting me. It's my conscious choice to skip sleeping, not his!"

"Yeah, but he's not helping!" Wendy said furiously, rage burning in her eyes. "You think about him more than you think of me, I fucking bet!"

"That has _nothing_ to do with this! You can't go behind my back and impersonate me, and let him think that I _actually_ gave up on him!" Wendy deflated.

"I knew you couldn't do it. That's why I did it, Stan. You can't let go of something you should have let go _years ago-_ "

"I would still be in my room, hiding from the world and wishing I could die if not for him!" Stan gritted out. "He and Sparky were the only goddamn constants in my life!"

Wendy looked up at him, crestfallen. "So what am I, Stan?"

Whatever Stan was going to continue with lost its fire when he heard her question, "No, I-" He stopped, and began to think about the situation. Where he only thought about his pen-pal, he neglected what was in front of him. He neglected what they felt, while he only catered to his selfish thoughts and desires.

"Wendy I... That's not what I mean," the raven choked out, the heaviness of shame wrought his once proud argument, reduced to words that barely made sense now.

_I'm supposed to be mad... I'm supposed to-!_

"I've been here this whole time," Wendy spoke with a low voice, she opened her mouth to say more, but nothing came out, her feet bringing her to her bed, where she sat at the edge, leaning against the bedpost. "I'm not going to fight again, Stan," she said, defeated. Her arm looped around the wooden post as a finger traced an invisible circle on its surface.

"I just want to know what I am to you," she spoke slowly, each word bringing Stan a step closer towards her, "Am I your girlfriend? Just- some girl you can't get rid off? A passing thought you come and entertain when you're bored?"

He said nothing, her words bringing more weight down as she continued. "Jill that you fell down the hill with? Or..."

"Just boring, old Wendy? The girl who can't seem to get a hint."

Stan's feet stopped when her words did the same, standing in front of the downhearted girl who couldn't keep her gaze on him any longer, her head hung without strength as she gazed the floor.

"I..."

He sighed, and sat himself down on the floor in one fluid movement, a hand running through his raven hair, knocking his hat off where it landed on the bed behind him. He sat by her side, but only he was on the floor. He was angry, but at the same time, he was guilty.

"I spent all of fourth grade trying to win you back, do you remember?" Stan began with a quiet sigh, his gaze wandering around the vacant wall across the room, relying on his ears to track her reactions.

"You did pretty terribly on your first couple of tries." Wendy hummed lowly in response, not saying, or doing anything much rather than letting the words fall out of her lips.

"Do you think I'd let all of that go?" She paused and managed to let out a weak giggle, Stan hearing the shifting of cloth before he heard something settle on the floor next to him.

"You confuse me, Stan." the girl began in a hushed, tired tone, her knees hugged close to her chest while her arms snaked around her legs. "First you break into my room, yell at me, and sit on my floor."

"I... You're down here on the floor with me too," the raven pointed out, and he smiled when he heard her giggle once more. "The bed felt lonely, and you'd be too scared to join me in bed."

They both laughed at her joke, Stan feeling her weight as Wendy rested her head against his shoulder, both their gazes fixated on the faded purple on the wall.  
"I'm going to have to reset our counter now." _Ah, the 'Days gone without arguing' counter on her phone._

"This doesn't have to be a fight," he offered in suggestion, "It could just be.. A messy agreement. Yeah- that." She shifted her head to glance up at the boy, who was already looking down at her.

"An agreement about what, though?" She asked, sounding slightly more lively compared to her previous hushed whispers.

"Oh, not much. I get to write to Kyle, and-"

"God," the girl gave his shoulder a light nudge, but there was no fire or venom behind the action, "Does he really mean _that_ much to you?"

"Yes," Stan answered, without a second's hesitation. Despite her surprise to how sure he sounded, she gave a firm nod to his response, taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly.

"All right, all right. I guess you can keep writing to him." Wendy sighed out, resigning her arguments to the boy's wishes, who began to work a smile at her words.

"BUT!" She suddenly snapped, attracting the entirety of the boy's attention and gaze.

"But?" The raven repeated, eyebrows raised in anticipation.

"But!... I don't know, actually, but you're going to have to think about something!" For a moment, he looked puzzled, then he began to laugh softly, causing the girl to pout.

In the end, he smiled and nodded in agreement. "I'll think of something, promise."

"Good," she hummed contentedly, returning to rest her head on his shoulder, "because if you keep going like this I'm gonna get jealous."

Stan turned to her and settled a kiss on Wendy's head, prompting a surprised noise from her throat. "You don't need to worry like that. He's just a friend."

\---------------

 _ **801 Walnut Ave** ****_  
_**Northfield, NJ 08225** ****_  
_**USA** ****_  
_**  
** **Swampy,**_

_**Oh, thank god... I... Jesus...** **  
** **I guess you don't realize how attached you are to something until there's a threat of it being gone... How'd the talk go..?**_

_**Hah... This is all awkward now. Uhm. Please sleep... Don't put these letters over your own health.** _

_**Penis fact; Dr John Harvey Kellogg originally created cornflakes to 'lead Americans away from the sin of masturbation'. It did not work.** _

_**Happy birthday, and Happy Halloween, Stan.** _

_**What were you asking me to tell the truth about?** ****_  
****  
_**Your Super Best Friend,** **  
** **Broccoli.**_

\--------------------

 **2001 E. Bonanza St. :260** ****  
**South Park, CO** ****  
**USA** ****  
****  
**Broccoli,** ****  
****  
**Hey, Kyle. Dont worry about it too much now, Wendy and I talked about it and we're alright now.** ****  
**  
** **It's not awkward at all! I promise I'm getting more sleep now, and I'm writing when I can, so, sorry if they get a bit far and few between yknow.**

 **Sorry for making you worry Kyle and I hope you are doing okay too, it's the holidays again, which happened way tooo quickly. I asked my history teacher about Hanukkah and she gave me this weird top with weird letters.** ****  
**  
** **She called it a "dreidel." It's soft! and made of clay, but none of us know how to do anything with it and Kenny threw it into someone's window while we hung out.**

**but we had fun, please tell me that didn't offend you in any way.**

**Oh, and that truth thing wasn't to anything specific, just to be general, you know? sorry if it confused you**

**Happy Hanukkah, Kyle!**

**Your Super Best Friend,** ****  
**Swampy.** ****  
****  
**PS. i sorta missed the dick facts after not seeing them after so long, it's weird** ****  
**PPS. I left in the letter a little thing we use when celebrating the holidays, hope you like it!** ****  
  
His letter felt bulky, some sharp ends showing at the surface of the envelope. Stan had left a small sprig of mistletoe to accompany his letter, how very friendly of the boy.

\------------------

 _ **801 Walnut Ave** ****_  
_**Northfield, NJ 08225** ****_  
_**USA** ****_  
_**  
** **Swampy,**_

_**I'm glad you sorted it out. And I'm glad you're getting sleep.** **  
** **I'm alright, I guess... Still, wish I had some friends down here, but what can you do, you know?**_

_**Dreidels are a time-honored tradition for the Hebrew people. Each side has a character from our alphabet, and the acronym of the letters stands for 'a great miracle happened there'. It's a little game we play... And it's okay if you didn't understand. I hope the person in the window wasn't too confused! I'm not offended, don't worry.** _

_**I'm glad you missed the penis facts. :)** ****_  
_**Penis fact; Smoking cigarettes can shorten your penis by up to a centimeter.  It affects the ability to maintain erections, as smoking fills up and blocks some blood vessels. The blood can't fill out the penis as much as it could before, and so, it'll lose some length. Don't smoke, kids!** ****_

_**Thanks for the mistletoe. I'll ignore the lack of a 'no homo' just this once.** ****_  
_**Merry Christmas, Stan.** ****_  
****  
_**Your Super Best Friend,** **  
** **Broccoli.**_

_**PS. How are your mistakes coming back now? Guess it's the lack of practice, seeing as you don't write constantly anymore, haha.** _

\----------------

 **2001 E. Bonanza St. :260** ****  
**South Park, CO** ****  
**USA** ****  
****  
**Broccoli,** ****  
**  
** **Noone's ever perfect, Broccoli, but I try to keep up haha.**

**Happy New Year! Sorry I couldnt send out a letter sooner, some kid with a tinfoil obsession managed to block the town's post office and bank for an entire week, we had to fix it.**

**Valentine's is around the corner, you still got that heart I mailed you years ago? I still have yours, though yours had more effort put into it, but it's no contest Jersey boy!**

**Well, if you have no one there, then I guess its up to me to fill in for those Fake-tanned assholes.** ****  
****  
**Your Super Best Friend,** ****  
**Swampy.  
**  
\-----------------  
  
_**801 Walnut Ave** ****_  
_**Northfield, NJ 08225** ****_  
_**USA** ****_  
****  
_**Swampy,** ****_  
****  
_**You don't have to apologize, I get it. Your town is completely insane.** **  
** **Another year, another lack of an actual Valentine. :( I'll just pretend you're my Valentine so my parents stop thinking I'm 'lonely'.**_

_**The fake tan is wearing off, and the tanning booths that they all go to are under reconstruction. I'm finally not the only pale one! I don't have to feel left out anymore.** _

_**Penis fact; Only 1 in 400 men are flexible enough to suck their own dick. Anyone you know part of that 400?** _

_**Your Super Best Friend,** ****_  
_**Broccoli.** ****_  
****  
**_PS. I might have big news come next letter... But don't get your hopes up too much._  
** ****  
\-----------------  
  
**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260** ****  
**South Park, CO** ****  
**USA** ****  
****  
**Broccoli,** ****  
**  
** **Big news? I can't wait to hear if it ever happens, Kyle!**

**Sure, you can be my valentine, right back atcha with the 'no homo' haha.**

**i know a few people who might be flexible enough to suck themselves off, probably Kenny. He's full of surprises, more so than I would like.**

**Our theatre production went well! Remember that? Cartman did a surprisingly good job in his role, even the teachers were impressed.**

**School year's almost over Kyle. What's your plan for the summer?**

**Your Super Best Friend,** **  
** **Swampy.**

**PS. They finally finished building this house next to my house, i can finally sleep more peacefully now**

\-----------------  
  
**801 Walnut Ave** **  
****Northfield, NJ 08225** **  
****USA** **  
****  
****Swampy,** **  
****  
****BIG NEWS BIG BIG NEWS!!!!**

_**  
** ****Drumroll pleaasseee..........._

_**I'M MOVING TO SOUTH PARK!!** **  
** **AHHHH! I'M SO EXCITED! My dad got a job in one of the law firms! He had to choose between some city in Connecticut or your town and I convinced him. Oh my god! I'll get to see all of your friends! And you! I'm gonna give you the biggest fucking hug, just you wait.**_

_**ANYWAY,, I'm glad Hamilton went well!! I'll be stuck here for a little longer, but my plans for the late autumn are moving to fucking South Park oh my gosh I can barely believe it... Though, I might have to fear for my life a bit more than I usually do.** _

_**I'm just so excited. I won't be alone anymore.** **  
** **Possibly the final penis fact; between the years 1770 and 1784, a man named King Fatefehi of Tonga had sex with 37,800 virgins. That's seven a day!**_

_**I'm pretty sure we're fucking moving next door to you. Keep your eyes peeled for a moving van, you better be out the front waiting for me, Swampy.** ****_  
****  
_**Your Very Excited Super Best Friend,** **  
** **Broccoli**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue south park intro theme* 
> 
>  
> 
> we'll be back soon, hope you enjoyed, comment down below about your thoughts and all that jazz, smash subscribe if you haven't, support the channel by hitting that bell button and i dunno send us money we're hungry folk (a03 it was a joke please don't ban us). 
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed
> 
> -mana


	6. Going Down To South Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How many letters had he ended up sending to Kyle over these years? 'A lot' seemed like an understatement. After years of letter exchanges, temporary issues, a girlfriend, and a friendship forged in the ink of their letters, Stan and Kyle were finally going to meet. Kyle was coming to South Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am disgustingly sick and very unmotivated, hopefully my brain will start kicking in to gear soon as im on holidays now  
> also i love my boys  
> (also the vomit story is based off of something my uncle actually did when he was younger so, you're welcome?)  
> -bean
> 
> hello there, tis' i, the frenchiest fry that's not actually french. hope y'all enjoy and leave any comments or suggestions down beloww  
> -mana

###  **CHAPTER 6: Going Down To South Park**

Stan reread the letter, slack-jawed at the news imprinted on the paper in mesmerizing cursive that sometimes consumed his waking days. _"I'm moving to South Park."_

He rubbed his eyes, maybe his vision was playing tricks on him again. Trailing a finger below each word, the raven's mind began to turn its overworked gears. _Kyle's coming to South Park..._ A smile began to crawl across his face at the realization, and butterflies began to flutter in his stomach, tickling the walls of his insides as he began to feel giddy.

He punched himself in the gut, the old feeling making him feel queasy, and Stan wasn't feeling up for cleaning up the desk with his dinner, but- He couldn't help the grin that split the boy's face in two. He was finally going to see his super best friend. Now that he thought of it, he hasn't seen a recent picture of the redhead, but he no longer had to. _He's coming to South Park!_

Kicking back off his seat, Stan walked over to the wall where he nailed up his cork boards, thumb tacks pinning every single corrected letter Kyle sent back to him, along with the boy's own letters.

Every single response and return, the raven kept up on his board. Not many had seen it, but those who did gave a guess that the boy had some sort of obsession, but Stan would always argue.

It was a product of their close friendship, with a person across the country.

_But he'll be right next door now._

He plucked off one of the vacant tacks stabbed into the brown surface then moved back to his desk, picking up the two letters he recently received back from his pen-pal.

Stan laughed softly, _Pen-pal... That's a word for him I won't ever use again._ Lining the two letters, one on top of the other, the needle-thin sharpness poked through the papers easily, bringing them back over to the corkboard straight after.

The boy hummed in thought on where he should place the newest addition, settling with a smile on a small spot of brown below the origami heart Kyle sent to him years before. "Aaaaand, there!" He took a step back after, hands gliding to his waist as his eyes marveled at the paper-laid board he's managed to cover with the two's letter sending.

A feeling of pride welled up in his chest, though it paled in comparison to the pesky flutters moving around inside him. Stan punched himself in the stomach again, a rough puff of breath escaping him when he did, the boy wincing in pain after as slight regret started to settle in, along with the aching pain.

"Fuck... Why did I do that?" Stumbling back over to his swivel chair, one of its wheels on the verge of breaking due to years of extreme use, he slid his legs back into the nook below the desk, breathing in a large puff of fresh air to ease the pain he caused, taking out a blank sheet of paper from a pile on the corner when he settled down.

 _What do I write to him now?_ Stan swallowed, his pen's rip hovering just above the untouched white surface. He had so much to convey, but the feelings of joy, happiness, excitement and nervousness all lodged in his throat and came to a crash before hitting the nerve that'd command his hands to write.

For the first time since he started sending letters to the boy, Stan Marsh was stumped on what to write. Though, despite the mental blockade that prevented him from writing, he couldn't wipe clean the reminiscent smile stretched across his face.

He stood up from his seat, taking thoughtful steps to the window overlooking the street, the sun shone brightly, reflecting off of the pavements and roofs that lined the street. His eyes wandered to the construction workers taking down scaffolding around the unpainted, and probably unfurnished, house adjacent to his own. _Kyle's moving in... We're going to be neighbors!_

Stan gripped the windowsill before he opened the latch the held the windows shut, swinging its doors open to welcome the light breeze into his room, the letter pages flapping lightly as they hung onto the cork board. Something good was finally happening in this quiet redneck mountain town, something that Stan could be genuinely interested in. The raven laughed into the air as he remembered how he advertised his hometown to the redhead as if it was a place worse than Hell, and in its own ways, it was worse.

The weekend was quiet, the occasional car zooming by the desolate street, almost slamming into sweaty elementary schoolers playing football out on the street and sidewalks. Stan remembered back when he was one of those children, although their games were more grandiose and involved variables that could've ended the world, in a twisted way, he enjoyed them. _I'm sure Kyle would've enjoyed it too, but he'd probably complain._

His laughs came along in soft puffs. Was he going insane? The raven's mind played around with imaginations of what he and Kyle would do together when he finally moved in. He'll introduce him to Kenny, and maybe Cartman if the large boy decided to play nice, he probably wouldn't, but there was always the silent hope. Then he can introduce his Super Best Friend to his girlfriend, and Kyle can finally be apart of the madness that was South Park. The two of them side by side in the insanity instead of just relaying the events through paper and ink.

_The two of them-_

Stan quirked an eyebrow at the low grumble sourcing from his stomach. All this excitement made the raven grow hungry, and he closed the windows shut before hooking back the latch, turning on his heels to head out of his room.

He stopped by his desk to snatch his pen and paper, he can write to Kyle while he grabs something to eat.

 **\---------** ****  
**2001 E. Bonanza St. :260** ****  
**South Park, CO** ****  
**USA** ****  
****  
**Broccoli,** ****  
**  
** **DUDE, REALLY?!?! HOLY FUCK IM SO EXCITED, I TOLD KENNY AND HE CANT WAIT! I CANT WAIT!**

**School's a week away from finishing, so I'd be seeing you move in during the autumn, right? I'll cancel plans for it (not like I had much to begin with except school haha).**

**I'll be waiting, Kyle. I'm right next door. I still can't believe the fucking coincidence like holy shit!**

**I told Wendy too and she's also very excited to meet you! Cartman was, ecstatic.**

**He won't do anything though! Well, I'll make sure he won't do anything to you when you get here.**

**Can't wait to see you go down to South and have yourself a time, with friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.**

**AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT PEOPLE SPOUTING "HOWDY NEIGHBOR"**

**Mmffffmmmfffhhhmffffjhhh mfffhhhhmmfh** **_(Our town is bigger dammit right down to the little granite)_ **

**So come on down TO SOUTH PARK AND  mmfffppfff** **_(meet some friends of mine~)_ ** ****  
****  
**Your Super Best Friend,** ****  
**Swampy.** ****  
****  
**THE BEST FUCKIN GUY,** ****  
**E. CARTMAN** ****  
****  
**PS. You call each other 'Super Best friends?' ha! Fags!** ****  
****  
**Humbly yours,** **  
** **Kenneth~**

 ****  
"You guys suck." Stan murmured with a sighed out chuckle, sliding the sealed envelope in the post box outside the post office, two voices snickering behind him, one significantly louder than the other.

"It was good we caught you while you were writing, now it's been embellished by our wondrous writing," Cartman exclaimed boisterously, hands firmly planted on his rounded waist.

 _"A little greeting from us in true South Park fashion~"_ Kenny hummed out, patting the raven's shoulder as he continued to sneak out sly laughs.

"Let's hope he doesn't get scared off from-" A scoff cut the raven's speech short.

"HA! Stan's being gay again! C'mon, Kenny, let's get something to eat." Cartman mocked before he started down the sidewalk, the blond following suit with a smirk, and finally the raven, who gave the postbox one last look before he trailed behind the two, an excited grin stretched across his face. He rolled his head, stopping when the autumn clouds encompassed his vision.

The gloomy sky never looked brighter.  
\-------------

Kyle was so excited. So _unbelievably_ excited He'd packed all his things, with the stuff he'd need soon in a separate bag to the piles of boxes his possessions had claimed. They were moving _today._ He was going to see Stan _so soon_. His parents had absolutely no idea why he couldn't keep the grin off of his face, but he couldn't care less about their confusion. He was going to see his Super Best Friend.

The few weeks of school that he'd had to suffer through were pointless, as expected, but the house that Kyle demanded to move into wasn't complete until midway through Autumn, so he'd had to suffer through a full Summer break in his godforsaken state before he could  _finally_ move.

The final letter he'd gotten from Stan was grasped carefully in his hand. He was lucky he got it before they left, they'd been pulling out of the drive when the mail arrived one _final_ time, and he'd screeched at his dad to _stop driving!_ He'd frantically read and reread the mess of a letter, and it was making him giddy every time he looked at it. He'd pinched himself about fifty times already, and _god dammit, it was still happening! It wasn't a dream!_

The car ride was _long._ He was pretty sure his dad had wanted to save money by driving instead of on a plane, so they could just hire a truck driver to cart their stuff over, but _twenty eight fucking hours_ was so _unbelievably long._ It didn't help that Ike got carsick, so they kept having to stop and wait for him to calm his stomach. It was probably mostly caused by him playing every single game he owned the whole trip. Looking down was  _t_ _errible_ for car sickness, even Kyle knew that. It was the main reason he’d brought headphones to listen to music and podcasts. As well as a book, obviously. But he made sure he wasn’t  _stupid_ like his brother and took breaks in between reading.

They stopped off at a motel after eight hours, and Kyle almost immediately passed the hell out. His dreams were so happy and fluffy, and that just made him all the more excited all over again. (He had to pinch himself again once he woke up, just to make sure that it was  _real._ )

They were up early, though. And thus, ten hours of driving ensured. They played the classic games of I-Spy, would you rather, and sang many of the dumb road trip songs as a family. Kyle was about to go insane after they got to ‘fourteen bottles of milk on the wall’ for the  _second goddamn time_. Ike was enjoying himself, so he managed to deal with it. **Until they started again.**

Family singing was cancelled after that.

Ike’s stomach finally caved at around the eighth hour, and he puked out the window. All of that lovely up-chuck went…  Straight onto the windshield of the car behind them. Kyle couldn’t stop laughing, but it was evident the driver was _not laughing at all,_ by the sounds of the loud honking coming from behind them.

They finally arrived at their second motel stop, and Kyle was so _thankful_ for the feeling of solid ground under his feet and being able to actually stand up was incredible. His excitement hadn’t faded a single bit, and he went to sleep gleefully thinking _I get to see Stan tomorrow!_

The final six hours were a blur, and Kyle couldn’t help but squeal and stomp his feet when he saw the sign saying ‘South Park’. They’d been trailing the van with their bulkier stuff and boxes the whole way there, apart from when they had to stop for Ike’s goddamn _stomach,_ so the van was already parked outside their house. Kyle mentally screamed when he saw the familiar address that was going to be _next to his house_ now and looked out for any signs of the raven.

  
\------------------  
Stan hadn’t been able to focus in the remainders of his classes before Kyle arrived. He kept seeing things that reminded him of the reason he was so _giddy._ Seeing literally just the color red was enough to set him off thinking about his Super Best Friend. And any time anyone mentioned Jews or New Jersey… Or anything, really. His friends could say a word like ‘intimidated’, and Stan would think _Kyle used that word in the second line and third paragraph of his sixth letter to me._ Any time Kenny or Cartman caught him staring off into space, they’d immediately make fun of him. If Wendy caught him then she’d give him this _look_ , and then he’d try and focus, but…

Kyle just took up so much of his thoughts. It was almost embarrassing how much he was thinking of the other boy. Almost every second of every day, he was thinking about things he could do with him once he arrived. Mentally planning out whatever activity he thought that the boy might enjoy. His best goddamn friend was moving to his town… They’d never actually seen each other, so Stan was super nervous. _What if Kenny was right?_ Even though he’d heard those words that maybe it wouldn’t be like he imagined months ago, they still stuck with him and made him overthink and over imagine what it was going to be like. _What if he hates me? What if I hate his voice? What if he hates_ _my_ _voice?_ The thoughts continued until he was sure he’d combust.

He wasn’t sure when Kyle was going to arrive, so he was always on the lookout, and he always had to have a view of the window, wherever he sat. Or stood. He neglected going out away from the house because _what if Kyle comes right now and I’m missing it, oh god!_ He felt a bit like Tweek, with a newfound fear of leaving the house. Any time he looked away from the house next door, he felt imminent panic because _what if I missed it?_ It was almost impossible to do anything whatsoever.

Stan didn’t know how his parents felt. I mean, he was sure that Sharon was quite proud of him for making and _keeping_ and long-distance friend, but his dad probably didn’t care less. His mom had been there from the very start, writing that first address on his first, _incredibly messy_ letter. He’d reread everything they’d shared multiple times, and every time he always ended up getting more and more excited. Because _Kyle was coming. Kyle was moving to South Park._ Every time he said it he still felt like he should _pinch_ himself. And he did. Many times.

Luckily for Stan's 'needy-ass', as Kenny referred to his excitement as, Cartman had thrown another massive tantrum over a compulsory physical examination, and managed to burn a good portion of the school down, leaving the whole town without classes. The repairs were due to be finished around two weeks before Winter break, so the school board had elected to just cancel school until it was due back in January. Cartman had managed to fly under the radar without punishment,  _as usual_ , by saying that he'd been sexually assaulted by the gym teacher and had a 'mental lapse'. The board didn't believe him until he brought out a pair of his underwear with the teacher's DNA all over it... Something to do with a technique he'd apparently 'already tried' before.

  
Stan went out with Kenny the day before Kyle arrived. Kenny kept making dumb jokes about how now that Kyle was moving over, Stan could finally get the stick out of his ass and bone him. Stan let out a massive sigh every single time it happened, ignoring the boy’s comments. He was quite proud of them, though, so he was unphased.

Stan was sitting at his desk when he heard a truck pull up outside. It was the afternoon, and he was reading their letters again, slurping on some soft drink. He jumped out of his chair and pulled on his jacket as quickly as he could, ready to scream. He waited inside the front door until a car pulled up behind the truck, and burst out of the doors, running full pelt towards the car.

And there was that red head of hair, running back at him just as fast. Stan felt tears leaking from his eyes as they collided, _almost_ but narrowly avoiding falling over. Stan felt Kyle sobbing and sure enough, he started crying too. His arms were grappling at the shorter boy, who was hugging him back just as tight, and everything just felt _right._ This was the boy he’d become so _unnecessarily_ attached to. His goddamn _Broccoli._

They didn’t part for a few minutes, not even saying anything, just holding on tight. Stan was so unbelievably overjoyed, he didn’t know if he _could_ form any words. As they finally let go, Stan could only say a single word.

“ _Kyle,_ ” He whispered, gripping the boy’s shoulders and looking into his damn _green_ eyes. “You’re real.” Kyle let out a bark of laughter. That was the first thing Stan heard from him.

“’Course I am, dude. Did you think someone randomly created me?” He asked, face split into a massive toothy grin.

"Well, that's how people usually get made." Stan didn't know what he was talking about, his words as scattered and confused as the first time he wrote a letter to Kyle. _It was like he was back to square one all over again._

Though, somehow, that didn't feel like a bad thing in the slightest.

Behind them, both could hear Kyle's mother loudly exclaim about _ho_ _w Kyle's already making friends!_ and that snapped them both back to the reality _that they weren't alone and they were in public._ Stan's feet shuffled, but his hands wouldn't release their grip on the redhead's shoulders, as if he didn't want to let go. _Oh, Jesus. I'm already making it awkward._

Another bout of laughter escaped from Kyle's lips, lifting a hand to give the other a light nudge with a formed fist. "That's not what I meant, dick." He spoke, excitement honeying his tone. Stan matched the boy's grin with a lopsided smirk, couldn't help but join in on the laughter as he took a step back. His eyes inspected him from head to toe, taking in every detail of the redhead. _He's grown since the picture he sent._

Kyle caught the raven's eyes and frowned slightly, his hands gliding to his hips as he shifted uncomfortably in his own clothes. "What are you doing, checking me out?" He asked with a joking grin, only for it to be disturbed by an annoyed sigh as he adjusted his clothes. "How do you people live in these things?

"What? Clothes?" The raven returned with a chuckle, amused by how antsy the boy looked in his own clothes, but he understood the reason. New Jersey must have been a different scene. "Miss the sun already, Jersey boy?"

"Not as much as I missed you." His response escaped his breath easily, and Stan's mind had to work overtime to register the words he said. It felt strange, to miss a person you've technically never met before, but because of those red-stained letters and endless nights of papers, it felt like he's known Kyle for a good part of his life.

"You talk just like you do in your letters, dude. I wouldn't be surprised if you just starting saying some random dick fact." Stan said in response, the laugh that burst from Kyle was enough to distract him from the odd feeling in his stomach.

“Hey, Stan. Did you know that it’s been scientifically proven that better-looking men have better sperm?” Kyle giggled.

“Oh my _God._ That’s it, go back to New Jersey. I don’t want you anymore.” Stan spun the laughing boy around and began pushing him back towards his car. He raised a hand to the other boy’s parents.

“Hi, Mr and Mrs Broflovski, can you take him back, please? We don’t want him.”

Eventually, Stan’s parents came out to see what all the fuss was about, and then that got them talking to Kyle’s parents. Stan dragged Kyle back into his house and up to his room, showing him around. His room hadn’t changed much over the years, his bed had gotten a bigger upgrade, but everything else had relatively stayed the same. Kyle walked over to Stan’s cork board almost immediately.

“You really did keep all of them, huh?” He trailed a finger over the timeline as Stan sat down on his bed. He got to a gap in the board and looked at Stan questioningly, who gestured to his desk vaguely. Kyle grinned.

“Were you reading over them while you waited for me to arrive?” Stan felt his neck grow hot, looking away. “Oh my god, you totally were!”

“No, I didn’t! I was just deciding which ones to _burn._ ” The words brought a raised eyebrow from Kyle, so he sighed. “Fuck you.”

“At least take me out to dinner first, Stan!” Kyle exclaimed, putting a hand over his heart in mock offence. Stan let out a bark of laughter. _Kenny was wrong, this is even better than I imagined._

The redhead laughed with him, his eyes then returning to exploring the boy's room. As expected, Stan didn't clean his room much, always preferring an _'organized mess'_ as the raven liked to call it. A pile of books sat on one corner, the floor around the trash can near his desk littered with balled up papers that he crumpled up, the surface of the wooden desk was no better. Pencils and pencil shavings strewn across the flatness and notebooks laid open, displaying numerous attempts of neater handwriting and what Kyle could guess was his attempt at cursive.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, his attention snapped to a soft weight pressed on his shoulder. "I didn't have time to clean, you didn't say when you were gonna arrive."

Kyle shook his head with a light laugh, a finger gliding to the pages of the opened notebooks. "It's a good thing you didn't try to write to me using this, Stan. I never knew you could write Chinese."

"Oh, ha ha." The raven let out an artificial laugh, those the grin across his face was genuine. It hadn't been an hour yet and it already made the years apart bridged through letters worth it. _"Herro, pree."_ Stan pulled out his well-imitated, but definitely racist Chinese accent, Kyle blinked for a second before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Dude! C'mon- That's not _funny!_ " He struggled to say in between gaps of uncontrolled laughter, having to hold his stomach to keep himself together, the sight of the boy made Stan chuckle in response. _I wonder if he laughed at the other jokes I wrote to him._ "If it's not funny, why are you laughing?" The boy slipped out with a smirk, the redhead returning the smug look with a light punch to his arm.

"Because!- Fuck you, dude!"

"Second date already? Damn, you work quick, Jersey boy." Stan mocked out with a smooth tone, and it only fueled Kyle's laughter.

“Asshole! I’m laughing because I’m _happy._ ” Kyle huffed, grinning. His green eyes sparkling as they met Stan’s, and he found himself unable to look away. The boy just looked so ecstatic, and it was hard to believe that Stan himself had caused that.

Kyle broke the eye contact to look back at the notebooks, picking one up and bringing it over to Stan, sitting down next to him. He pointed to a terribly scribbled word.

“The fuck does this mean?” Kyle asked in amusement, Stan pushed the notebook away, glaring but still smiling.

“I’ve actually written my own language, I’ll have you know. That word means ‘Kyle Broflovski is an asshole’.” Kyle widened his eyes.

“Really? Wow, Swampy. I didn’t know you were that smart!” Stan punched his friend lightly at the sarcasm, but he found his stomach fluttering as he used the familiar nickname.

“Shut up, Broccoli.” Kyle began to laugh again, and his laughter was contagious as hell, because here they both were, doubled over on Stan’s bed because of each other.

It was magical how two people can get along so well despite never actually talking, face to face or otherwise. Stan felt like he’d known the boy all his life.

" _Kyleee!_ Ma's looking for you." Peering from the doorway, a tuft of straight black hair appeared, a young face below the neat haircut looked quite disgusted being the source of the speaking. "Ugh..." Ike's carsickness still hadn't subsided, even after stepping out of the car and greeting the Colorado pavement with barf.

"Oh? Aren't they with Stan's parents right now?" Kyle abruptly broke his gaze from the raven to look to his brother, who swayed slightly as his hands gripped the door frame.

"Stan?" Ike brought his head up to take notice of the other boy in the room, his face shifting for a quick moment as his internal gears began to turn. "Ah! So you're Stan!" The exclaim almost brought him to repaint the floor but managed to shut his mouth before he could.

"Uh, you don't look so good there kid, who are you anyway?" Stan questioned, not recognizing the lanky gradeschooler who, despite the urges to empty his stomach, flashed a smile as he pointed to the two boys. "My bro told me all about you back in New Jersey, he wouldn't shut up about you!" Mockery tinted his words somewhat, but the proud smile indicated that it was all in good nature.

Kyle, however, wasted no time ushering the Canadian out of the room, his cheeks flushed red from being called out, by his brother no less. "Okay! Time for you to go, Ike! Out, out!"

"It was always _Stan!_ this, and _Stan_ that! I thought he was into a cult when I saw your picture on the wa-" The child couldn't finish when Kyle slammed the door in front of him, a loud huff escaping the redhead's lips when the room fell back to the comfortable silence, although now the boy felt embarrassed and awkward.

"...So that was my brother."

“He seems like... A real character?” Stan said, still mildly confused. “Wait, you talk about me?”

“I- uh... Duh, dude! You’re like, my only friend!” Kyle’s face was still red, and it made Stan laugh.

“Oh my god, our families must be so sick of us!” He exclaimed. “I talk about you like _all the time..._ I mean, you take up so much space on my wall, how can I not?”

“Right. Yeah, of course. Man, they must want to punch us.” Kyle sighed, looking at Stan with a raised eyebrow. “Should we get going, then?” Stan stood up, nodding.


	7. Have Myself a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moved in, but not settled in. However, Stan plans to change that for his dear old penpal Kyle. And what better way to get him settled in than to let him meet his daily train wreck friends! What could possibly go wrong around South Park?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why hello there~ we're back, sorry for the long delay but we're back to give you more of this mess. bean has told me to tell y'all that she's a mess and yeah. enjoyy  
> -mana
> 
> i love these dumb gays  
> whAt  
> i am a mess  
> -bean

###  **CHAPTER 7: Have Myself a Time** **  
**  


They walked outside, greeted by a flurry of voices, and Stan spied a familiar orange parka amongst their parents. Kenny, as if sensing their arrival, spun around and held his arms out.

 _"Welcome~"_ The sandy blond greeted with a wide smirk, a sly glint in the boy's blue eyes. Kyle quirked an eyebrow at the strange look, but his happy mood didn't dissipate, walking forward to extend a hand towards him. "Hey, happy to be here! I'm Kyle."  
  
Kenny's smirk widened to a grin. "My my, where have you two been?" His eyes danced between the redhead and the raven who stood beside him, "Quick on your feet to seal the deal, huh Stanny?" He laughed, more at the annoyed look on his friend's face than the joke he just told.  
  
"Kidding, I'm kidding~ The name's Kenny, I've heard all about you from Stan over here." The blond shook the hand held out over to him, breaking away after a moment before looking back at the other boy. "I went to see if Cartman wanted to pop by, but-"  
  
"But the fatass didn't want to get out of the house on a weekend, huh?" Stan finished with a sighed out laugh, "What does he watch now, Mean Girls on repeat?"  
  
Kenny shrugged with a lopsided grin, his voice carried through the air sweetly amidst the loud chatter from the parents stood on the driveway. "Something like that. One of those chick drama soaps."  
  
Kyle shuffled his feet, and his green eyes began to wander down the desolate street. Stan's gaze never left the redhead much, but he didn't know the reason behind his sudden movements until Kenny gave him a light nudge on the arm.  
  
"Shit, sorry dude! Enough about us, I wanna know all. About. You~" The last few words trickled out one at a time, a glittering grin accompanying the words.

“Uh, well. I-“ Kyle stammered, Stan watched him with a smirk, before realising he should _probably_ help him out.  
  
“Lay off him, Kenny. He’s new.” Stan said, which made Kenny whistle and raise his eyebrow again.  
  
“Damn, protective.” He chuckled. “Fine~ I’ll ask him this. What’s it like in Jersey?” Kyle groaned and rolled his eyes, awkwardness almost forgotten.  
  
“Fucking awful! Everyone around me is all about fake tans and their hair and clothes and here I am actually trying to focus on school! Group projects were a fucking **nightmare** , I tell you.” Kyle ranted, puffing slightly. The only part of him that betrayed that he was uncomfortable was his fidgeting hands. Even when he was flinging them around as he spoke, his arms kept trying to return to being across his chest in a protective action. Stan had a weird urge to put a hand on his arm, perhaps to calm him down.  
  
“That. Sounds fucking terrible, dude. Were the chicks hot, though?” Kenny asked. “Or the dudes. Either one.” Stan rolled his eyes.  
  
“Uhh... I don’t know? Probably not. Probably covered in enough fake tan to paint over my apartment building. Not the most attractive thing.” That made Kenny laugh.

“Damn, that place really traumatized you, huh?” As Kyle let out a nod at this, Kenny let out another bark of laughter before turning to Stan. “Should we blow this joint? I’m sure Cartman does genuinely want to see Jersey boy.”  
  
“Wait, dude. Does that mean we have to walk right into the hornet’s nest?” Stan widened his eyes at Kenny. “You know what happened last time.” He let out a shudder at the memory. Kenny clapped a hand on his shoulder and started walking, leaving the other two with no choice but to follow him. Kyle looked at Stan questioningly. “Hey, Kenny. Tell Kyle what we saw last time.” Kenny turned around, walking backwards and laughing joyfully.  
  
“Alright, well~. Staniel and I went over to our lovely friend Eric’s house, and after we heard no response from knocking on his bedroom door, we walked in on him watching some questionable cartoon.”  
  
“He yelled at us to get out immediately, and Kenny’s been teasing him for it ever since.” Stan shook his head as if disapproving of his friend’s actions.  
  
“Just stick with classic porn mags! Don’t watch some newfangled hentai when you can just buy a physical thing! Plus, it’s untraceable~.” Kenny winked at Kyle and spun back around. Kyle started laughing.

“Ken, you sound like an old man.” Stan complained, before looking over and watching his friend laugh. He had a really free laugh. It was joyful and infectious, so Stan felt himself grinning too. He and Kyle met eyes, and the happiness he saw in the green pools was all he needed to know that he was doing a _great_ job at helping him settle in.

Their walk was short, stopping at one of the cookie-cutter houses painted with fluorescent lime-green color. Kenny skipped down the driveway, leaving the two behind as he brought himself to the front door, his hands quickly opening the door without even knocking or ringing the doorbell.  
  
"Don't worry, Kenny doesn't bother knocking," Stan informed when he saw the redhead's eyes flicker between the blond and himself, his steps matched with Kyle as they followed the boy with a more sedated pace. "If you're lucky he'll wait for a few weeks before he starts breaking into your window."  
  
The raven laughed at the furrowed brows on Kyle's face, whose lips managed to puff out a few amused breaths. Anger didn't seem to last long in the lighthearted atmosphere, and that was a genuine first for the boy, who would usually be as prone to exploding like a Hawaiian volcano.  
  
"Hey-hey, guess who's heree~" Kenny's words flowed out in a singsong as he walked in the house, a quick shout of anger resounding through the living room as the two entered, shutting the door behind them.  
  
"Kenny-Dude, Fuck off! I'm trying to watch the TV!" Cartman yelled at the orange-clad boy who stood between the couch and the television across it, prompting the large figure who seemed to be practically fused into the furniture to throw a few kernels of popcorn that sat in a bowl in his hands. "It's getting to the best fucking part! What do you even want?!"

Unfazed- Actually, looking rather amused, the blond held up his arm laxly as a laugh escaped his lips, giving the brunet an obvious wink before he spoke, "This is worth missin' your show, Eric, I swear. Look who's finally here~" His raised hands jutted index fingers in the direction of Kyle, who was until now wearing a confused expression as he watched the two's interaction.  
  
"What? I told-" Cartman's words stopped short at the notice of the new face, a mixture of a scowl and a grin debating across his wide face at the sight of the red curls, fresh face, and freckles that dotted it. "My my, has Stan's new butt-buddy finally been shipped by UPS?" Letting out a boisterous laugh, the boy stood up from the couch, the thing groaning against his weight.  
  
"You're right, Kenny. _This_ is worth missing my lovely show." His grin stretched wider, and Stan took notice of the frown that began to sink at the corner of Kyle's lips. If he were to be completely honest, the fact that Cartman hasn't attacked the ginger in any way, shape, or form was already quite a surprise for the raven.  
  
Finishing his laugh, Cartman spoke, "So, you must be _Kahl._ "

“It’s _Kyle_. You must be _Eric_.” Kyle crossed his arms, which confused the absolute shit out of Stan. He looked at Kenny for an explanation, but the boy just shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“What are you again, _Kahl?_ A ginger, a Jew, _and_ from Jersey? That’s the three J’s! I can’t believe Stan wants to fuck that.” And there it was. Stan shot Kenny a look that clearly said _this was a mistake_ as he took in Cartman’s smug grin and Kyle’s hands forming into fists.  
  
“Alright, well. It was _great_ seeing you, Eric! Best it’s time we leave!” Kenny said joyfully, ushering Kyle out of the door. Stan locked eyes with Cartman and sighed.  
  
“Can’t you be at least vaguely sufferable for  _one day?_ ” He mumbled, turning around and moving towards the door, but Cartman stopped him by poking his shoulder and leaning towards his ear.  
  
“He totally wants to smash. You two should just get that gay shit out of the way.” Stan shoved Cartman off of him and sighed, following to where Kenny was talking to Kyle animatedly. Kyle’s fists were still clenched, so Stan sidled up next to him and put a hand on his back.  
  
“Just ignore him. He’s always an asshole.” He grimaced, Kyle turned his attention to him and Stan was pleased when he saw the fists unclench. Kyle looked down.  
  
“It’s fine.” Kenny was still talking, gushing about whatever crush he had, not noticing the lack of attention to his story. Kenny started walking, still talking about going to get lunch or something. Stan was just letting go of the tension in his shoulders and beginning to follow when he heard the door open behind him.

“Ay! I’m starved! You can’t go eat without me!” Cartman was pulling on a coat and rushing after them, seemingly beginning to pant despite the tiny amount of distance he’d covered. Stan could see Kyle’s frown return, and he desperately wished they hadn’t gone to see Cartman, if only just to see the content smile he’d seen before. Cartman walked past the two boys to catch up with Kenny, and Stan let out a breath of relief as he realized Kyle was safe for now.  
  
“Hey, Kyle?” Stan asked, following the other two and keeping pace with the boy beside him. When he heard Kyle’s hum of acknowledgement, he continued. “Why couldn’t the skeleton go to prom?”  
  
“Oh god. Why?”  
  
“Because he had no _body_ to go with!” Stan said, grinning. Kyle let out a bark of laughter that turned into snickering.  
  
“That’s such a stupid joke!” He exclaimed, still letting out giggles every now and then.  
  
“Well, it got the frown off of your face, didn’t it?” Stan said, feeling pleased with himself. Kyle elbowed him, puffing out a breath of air.  
  
“Yeah, sure. Doesn’t mean it’s a good joke, though.” Stan scowled and rubbed his arm where the bony elbow had dug into him. He couldn’t keep the frown on his face for long, though. He was genuinely really happy that Kyle was there.  
  
“Hey, Butterfree wants to come with, is that Gucci?” Kenny was walking backwards, phone out. Stan nodded immediately. He liked Butters. No one could possibly hate the innocent boy. He was too cheerful to dislike.

"Oh God," Cartman groaned at the side, "I'm surrounded by fucking homos." Stan couldn't catch the rest of the brunet's words, his mind already closing off the shallow responses that spat from his mouth. Kyle, although huffing in irritation, looked as if he was already used to attitudes similar. _Must be a Jersey thing, I guess._  
  
"Who's Butterfree?" The redhead looked up at the boy next to him who still had a hand on his arm. Shrugging, Stan rested his arms back on the sides of his body. His lips parted to respond, but Kenny snapped up the question before he could. "Oh, you'll absolutely _lovee_ him, Kyle. Everyone loves Butterscotch~"  
  
Kyle's confusion shifted from the raven over to the blond, the raven's gaze traveled over to the boy in front of them too. His words would usually be sprinkled with promiscuity, but whenever the conversation would be about the innocent bleach-blond, his words would only be sunny. Much like the smile of the boy in question. "He sounds like the character," The redhead spoke out thoughtfully, his eyes snapped back up at Stan, who did the same. "You never mentioned him in your letters."  
  
"I mean, I didn't see any reason to?" Following Kenny onto the driveway, the four stepped up to the Stoch residence, the blond wasting no time in ringing the doorbell, a muffled yet commanding tone of an adult booming from behind the door before the faint noises of footsteps rushed to the door.  
  
"Jeez, his dad's still a sandy vagina?" Cartman remarked, his arms crossed in front of his wide frame, Kenny shrugged in response. "I mean, what can we do, huh?"  
  
"Um, what I've been suggesting ever since five years ago?" The brunet shot back, and it was Stan who voiced out, Kyle's eyes dancing to each person whenever they'd talk. "No, Cartman. We're not kidnapping his parents and leave them in the forest for the bears."

"But you guys! Think about the baby cubs!" The door opening stopped the four's tangent short, a bright smile behind the front entrance belonging to a short-statured blond, who gave them a quick wave. "Hiya, fellas!"

“Buttercup!” Kenny exclaimed, moving forward and going to hug the boy before seemingly thinking better of it and just slinging an arm around his shoulders. “This is Kyle. Stan’s fifth-grade pen pal, remember?” Kyle waved sheepishly, probably still confused on Butters’ name. Butters moved out of Kenny’s half-hearted embrace to hold his hand out to the boy.  
  
“Hi there, Kyle! I’m Leopold, but all my pals call me Butters! You’re from Jersey, ain'tcha?” As Kyle nodded and shook Butters’ hand, he continued. “Well, that’s pretty neat! Let’s go get some food! I sure am starvin’.” And then they were off again. This time the three boys walking in the front with Kyle and Stan behind them.  
  
By the time their rag-tag group arrived at Tweak Bros, where Kenny had decided to take them, Stan was really hungry. He walked inside and ignored the strong waft of coffee, walking up to the counter and slamming down money.  
  
“Gah! Oh, h-hey Stan!” A messy mop of hair appeared from behind the coffee machine. “What can I get you?” Tweek’s apron was stained with various food and drink, but it was tied correctly for once.  
  
“Give me a chocolate eclair and a ham and cheese croissant,” Stan said, looking around to see where the stoic counterpart to the twitchy blond was. He turned around to where Kyle was standing behind him and found Craig already flipping the raven off from a table near the counter. “Kyle, did you want anything?”  
  
“Oh, um. Can I get a lemon tart?” Tweek nodded and turned to the display case with their assorted goodies. Stan watched Kyle fidget for a second before realising what was wrong.  
  
“Oh, shit. Sorry. This is Tweek, Tweek, this is Kyle.” Kyle and Tweek exchanged a smile. Tweek handed them their plates with food and Stan headed over to where Kenny had saved a booth for all of them. He slid right down to the end, and Kyle moved in next to him.

“There’s a lot of new faces I have to learn the names to, huh?” Kyle said, digging a fork into his tart. Stan nodded.  
  
“There are a lot of kids here. We’ve all grown up together, so we’re all pretty close.”  
  
“But, I’m sure you’ll fit right in!” Kenny said, waggling his fingers at Kyle, who looked at the lack of food in front of the boy.  
  
“Aren’t you gonna eat anything?” He asked. Kenny nodded.  
  
“Butterscotch is buying me something. Isn’t he a gentleman?” Sometimes, Stan couldn’t help but think that Kenny’s old princess persona had never faded away. “Anyway. You just met the neighborhood spazz! That’s Tweek. He and Craig have been dating for years now, so don’t mess with either of them if you know what’s good for you. Craig’s a bit of an asshole.”  
  
“Like you aren’t, McCormick.” A voice chimed in, Craig slid into the booth on one side of Kenny.

Kyle's curious eyes observed the tall noirette sat on the other side of the booth whilst he talked to the sandy-blond, catching his sharp gaze when he looked up to inspect his facial features. A frown appeared on his face at the sight of the middle finger jutted over to him, and the harmless look quickly turned into a hard gaze.  
  
"What's your problem?" Kyle said sharply to the tallest boy, who stood likely a full head taller than the redhead. "What's _your_ problem? Looking at me like that." Craig deadpanned, his mouth a hard line across his face. Their small yet seemingly intense staring contest persisted until Kenny gave the boy sat on his side a nudge with an elbow, and Stan resting a hand on the redhead's shoulder.  
  
"Back off, Craig. He's new." The voice came from the Stan, who furrowed his brows at the giant, who returned the look with another middle finger. Kenny barked out a laugh, an easy attempt to diffuse the tension developing amongst the others.  
  
"Hey now, Tucker. You wouldn't want Twizzler catchin' ya' staring at another man, right?" The blond teased with a grin, and although his remark earned him a shove from the noirette, it lifted off the heavy air that lingered just moments before.  
  
"Fuck off, I just don't like how he was looking at me," Craig's voice sounded low, emotionless, and slightly nasally. _Like always,_ Stan thought in his mind, conflicted to see that even in front of newcomers the boy wouldn't care enough to act friendly.

"I was _just_ looking?" A fire was behind the redhead's words, and that sent the two back to their staring contest. Stan was impressed at how _fearless_ Kyle was in front of the infamous Craig Tucker. Many would've turned tail and run at catching his icy gaze before they'd catch something else, like a fist.  
  
"Don't like people looking."  
  
"Alright, asshole. How about I introduce myself?" Without missing a beat, the redhead continued, "Kyle Broflovski. Pleasure."  
  
"Craig Tucker, dick." A middle finger accompanied his deadpan, and the air was shortly filled with sighs from both Kenny and Stan. _Could be worse, honestly._

Thankfully, at that point, Cartman and Butters decided to make their entrance. Cartman was telling Butters about some wild conspiracy, and the blond was eating it up.  
  
“B-but Eric! How can the aliens want to steal all the children and brainwash them into thinking that all puppies are evil! What if they just wanna be pals? And everyone likes puppies!” His mismatched blue eyes were wide as he looked at Cartman fearfully, and Stan locked eyes with Craig, forming a silent agreement.  
  
“Don’t listen to that fatass, Butters.” Craig deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at the ‘fatass’ in question. “He’s full of shit.”  
  
“Aliens are real, sure. But they don’t do half the shit he says they do. Everyone likes puppies.” Stan said idly, taking a bite of his croissant.  
  
“Well, I’m sure some people don’t like puppies! Those poor puppies...” Butters slid into the seat on the other side of Kenny, handing him a plate of food with a bright smile which was reciprocated immediately. Cartman sat beside Kyle, which made him instinctively shift closer to Stan. Kenny put a hand on Butters’ shoulder.  
  
“Don’t worry about the puppies, Buttercup. You and I can adore them in place of any asshole who doesn’t.” Kenny was smiling fondly at Butters.  
  
“Ugh! Get a fuckin’ room, why don’t you!? I’m surrounded by fa-“  
  
“Don’t say it, asshole.” Kyle spoke up. “It’s not an appropriate word for anyone to use, least of all you.” Stan looked at his friend, who had a quiet rage seething behind his eyes.  
  
“You know what? You’re okay, Broflovski.” Craig said, obviously shocked that the redhead had stood up to both him and Cartman within the span of a few minutes. “An asshole, but okay-ish.” Kyle shrugged and turned back to his tart.

The conversation went all over the place. Mainly everyone sat in the booth shared the same conversation, some breaking off into isolated tangents before rejoining the main topic. Mostly it was about Kyle and everything regarding the fiery redhead, and although Stan has basically known everything about the boy, he still listened and participated attentively to the active conversation. Butters asked innocent questions, and Kyle seemed more than happy to answer them but would snap venomously at Cartman's snide and frankly unwitty remarks that the brunet seemed to have stored beneath those fatty folds of his.  
  
All the while, aside from taking bites from his croissant and glancing quickly to the others, his eyes never left Kyle, and the lively look on his freckled face. He didn't even look back, his attention fully focused on the conversation amongst all of them. _Uh, what are we talking about again?_ And just then, the mention of his name brought him back from his thoughts and _staring._ "Stan's in theatre! Aren'tcha' Stan? He's been in many productions, I was a part of many of 'em myself!" The ever-sunny tone in Butters' voice caused the raven to blink a few times, then he noticed that everyone's eyes were gathered on him except for Cartman, who was busying himself on wolfing down his plate.  
  
"I- What, what was the conversation?" Stan stuttered out with a confused tone, but the bleach-blond seemed more than happy to repeat himself, one of Kenny's arms lazily slunk around his neck. "Oh! Well uh, Kyle here was askin' about school activities, and Ken' brought up the theatre group!"  
  
"If you want to do more nerdy shit, there's the Mathletes. Token can tell you about that." Craig chimed in with a flat voice, sipping on a Styrofoam cup right after.  
  
"Oh uh-" Shaking off the dazed feeling in his head, Stan answered, "Yeah, how we managed to pull the last production was a goddamn miracle."

"You're welcome!" The brunet sat farthest at the booth yelled in between his busy chewing, taking credit for the good production they somehow pulled out of their asses _yet again_. The raven sighed and rolled his eyes before returning the gaze to Kyle. "You planning to join, Kyle?"  
  
The redhead managed a laugh in response, "What, me? I'm terrible at that, I'm more of a book person if you remember." He said with a smile that silently convinced his own lips to curve upward.

“You mean a _nerd_ ,” Stan chuckled. Kyle met his gaze and narrowed his eyes, reaching out for Stan’s eclair and digging his fork into it, stealing a bite. He maintained eye contact as he chewed, and Stan rolled his eyes and looked back at the others seated around the table. Kenny had an eyebrow raised, arm still around the blond next to him. Cartman had already moved on with the conversation, but Stan couldn’t help but feel as if he’d done something wrong, with the way Kenny was looking at him suggestively.  
  
“Well, Kyle. I hope you’ll still come and support the theater nerds. They’re very proud of their productions. Aren’t you, Butt-Butt?” Kenny squeezed Butters’ shoulder.  
  
“Well, y-yeah! We’re mighty proud of our plays. They’re fun to work on, too!” Butters said, smiling and, if Stan wasn’t mistaken, leaning into the boy next to him? _Huh._  
  
“Oh, definitely! It’ll be fun to see a bunch of you performing! And Stan mucking around and doing his best.” Kyle took another bit of Stan’s eclair, looking at him as if to dare him to challenge his words.  
  
“Fuck off, asshole,” Stan said eloquently, digging an elbow into Kyle’s side, which made him squeal.  
  
“Oh, are you two already going at it?” Cartman proclaimed, holding his arms out as if he knew all. Craig scoffed, getting up out of the booth and moving over towards his boyfriend. Kyle was glaring at the boy beside him, while Butters and Kenny were involved in some giggly conversation with each other. “What?! Was it something I said?”  
  
“Wait, Ken! You can’t tell me that and then not tell me more!” Butters gasped. He then noticed the others looking at him and covered his mouth sheepishly. “Oopsie.”  
  
“Alright, fine. Now that Buttercream went and squealed, I’ll tell you all. I’ve planned a camping trip in a few weeks for a bunch of us. I’ll let you know the details later, but it should be fun!”

Stan narrowed his eyes at the two blonds, and Cartman groaned out painfully as if recalling a memory. " _Kinny,_ we are not going to die, or worse get herpes by going with your _fun_ ideas!"  
  
Kyle's gaze alternated between the brunet and the raven beside him, eyes widening at the slow nods coming from Stan. "Cartman's right, the last time we did your ideas, Kenny, we almost froze to death."  
  
"AND! And we didn't get to eat either because you said you'd 'take care of the food sitch.'" Gesturing with his fingers for air quotations, Cartman leant back on the booth's seat, the leather underneath his mass groaning in protest to the shifting weight.  
  
"Ye' of little faith, you two~" As if ignoring the other two's frankly valid points, Kenny waved their concerned words with a dainty hand gesture, the sly glint in his eyes seeming to shimmer as it danced between Stan and Cartman. "One, maybe camping during winter in tents was a _bad_ idea-"  
  
"You think?" The sandy-blond raised a finger to silence the sudden outburst.  
  
"Two, you ate _everything,_ Eric. You fatass-"  
  
"Ay!" Not letting their noises of protest disrupt his fluid show of excuses, Kenny lowered his raised finger and moved his hand below Butters' face, much to the shorter blond's surprise. "And three, Butternut and I will be taking care of _everything,_ so don't worry your little heads~" Stan caught Kenny's gaze and took notice of the widened smirk that suddenly played across his features, then the eyes that blinked to the boy next to him.  
  
"Sounds like fun, right, Kyle?~" His words like honey, and with the radiant smile of support by his side, Kenny looked like the most trustworthy person in the world. "What do you say?"

Stan watched confusion and then acceptance flickered in Kyle’s eyes. _Oh, damnit, Kenny. He played us. Of course, if Kyle goes then I’ll go, then if we all go then Cartman won’t want to miss out._ Stan let out a sigh as he looked at Kyle. He was starting to recognize how he portrayed different emotions _already_ . The slight pull in the corner of his mouth meant he was still a bit uncomfortable, but the quirk in his eyebrow showed interest.  
  
“I mean, yeah, dude! Sounds like fun! As long as Stan goes, I will!” The bright eyes turned to meet Stan’s gaze, and Stan could see the slight embarrassment. “You’re going, right?” _How can I say no to this angry smartass?!_  
  
“Yeah, yeah. ‘Course.” Stan reassured him, moving his half-eaten eclair over to the redhead, who grinned his thanks and began to eat it politely. Kenny smiled and clasped his hands together happily.  
  
“Then, it’s settled! I’ll just need confirmation from the other invitees, but _hopefully_ everyone will show up and have a good time!”  
  
“Yeah, fellas! It’ll all be a real good time. So you b-better show up!” Butters said, eager to back up Kenny _for reasons unknown to Stan._ He’d ask Kenny about it later.

"Ugh!" Cartman shoved the empty plate away from his side of the table, making room for an uneaten tart that he began to take a large bite from immediately, his words muffled when he spoke, _"If it ends like before, Kenny. I swear to God."_ Being accustomed to Kenny's seemingly indiscernible muffles back in elementary school, the boys around the table understood the large boy's full words, all except Kyle, who gave him a light shove. "Swallow your food before fucking speaking!"  
  
"Ay!" Quickly clearing his mouth, Cartman turned to glare at the redhead next to him. "Don't get your filthy Jew germs on me!" Stan watched them both devolve into a heated verbal exchange, but he knew that Kyle could hold his own, especially against the fatass' shallow insults, and the argument wasn't the matter of importance on his mind right now, but the crafty smile that hung on Kenny's face.  
  
The raven gave him a stare, one that the blond seemed all too eager to return. In the silence between them, and within the discourse between the two next to them, Kenny's eyes seemed to speak just as clearly, pale blue eyes spelling out, _Gotcha'_ to the boy.  
  
_Fuck, you win this time,_ Stan huffed before breaking away his gaze, this time over to the impulsive shriek from another part of the coffee shop.  
  
"ACK! Stop yelling, you'll scare the other customers!" Tweek gripped the counter, wild green eyes trained on the booth, the rest began to wander their eyes around for a quick moment, Kyle and Cartman's argument stilling to do the same.  
  
"Uh, t-there's nobody else here, Tweak." Butters pointed out, turning his head to scan the nearly empty shop, its only people the two employees and the five sat around the booth.  
  
"He says to shut the fuck up." Craig growled passively from behind the spastic blond, his face a continual deadpan even as he wrapped his arms around his partner's middle, causing him to squirm in his hold. "Nngh- Craig! Not while I'm working, I told you!"

"Well, they're certainly about to get busy~" Kenny remarked with a teasing laugh, prompting an embarrassed screech from the spaz and a middle finger from the giant behind him. "WE'RE NOT!"  
  
"Fuck, let's bail," Cartman suggested before squeezing himself out of the booth, both blonds on the other side of the table groaning as the surface pressed against them until the brunet finally managed himself free.  
  
"Oh boy, where are we goin' next?" Butters excitedly hopped up from his seat, Kenny following suit as his eyes wandered over to Stan and Kyle before flashing a smile and catching up to the shorter blond and Cartman, the other two slipping out of the booth as well.  
  
"Fuck, it couldn't kill them to wait?" Kyle muttered, straightening the creases on his coat from sitting. Stan rolled his shoulders back in reply, watching the three leave the shop and wait right by the door, catching Kenny blow a kiss to Tweek jokingly. "They don't really like to stay still."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed," The redhead sighed out, returning his eyes up to the raven, giving him a smile before nudging his shoulder. "Come on, you promised you'd show me around." Stan quirked an eyebrow and hummed out in feigned thoughtfulness, a smirk crawling along his face.  
  
"I don't think I remember promising anything like that, Broccoli."  
  
Kyle shoved him lightly before starting out of Tweek Bros., though the smile still stayed. "Asshole! I have evidence through your letters, Swampy." he stopped just short at the door, turning around to face Stan. Then planted an index finger on his chest, eyes locked together.  
  
"You can't. Hide. Anything. From me." The raven rolled his eyes and smirked down at him, entertaining the declaration with a firm nod before wrapping a hand around the finger. "Wouldn't put it past you." With that, he led Kyle out of the shop, leaving the couple dumbfounded from the scene.

"What the fuu..."

"Ngh! Babe, no- I saw it too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> attention, people who read my things, i need your help. i am very close to finishing leis i lay but i need your help! comment down below NOT your credit card information and security number, but some friendly comments or something to give me that final push on getting that epic battle bunny royale  
> -mana


	8. Friendly Faces Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny takes the boys on a whirlwind adventure to the park (in autumn?) and Stan is sure to thoroughly exhaust his new friend. (winky face)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soo i've gone through and edited some major continuity errors and removed various typos and even added a few sections u w u so feel free to reread if you want lol  
> momo is fatigued from 'digging a hole' and also a tad upset from his pusscat dying so excuse him for being lazy and send him some love pls <3  
> i'm back in the groove babey so here's a new chapter for christmas and new years xoxoxo  
> \- bean

###  **CHAPTER 8: Friendly Faces Everywhere**

The boys soon found themselves at the park, minus Cartman, who had dropped out to go and see his girlfriend, Heidi. Stan still didn’t know how they managed to keep together. Every now and then, they’d have a massive fight, but somehow Cartman had actually rediscovered how to be nice to her. He didn’t do it for anyone else, but it was still a start. And so, the two blondes, followed by the raven and ginger, entered the park. Kenny was quick to pull out a frisbee from the depths of his parka and immediately began throwing it to Stan. Butters went to sit down on a bench under an almost-bare oak tree, and Kyle followed, both of them chatting idly.  
  
“Hey! Stan! I’ve got a frisbee joke for ya!” Kenny said, throwing the disc to Stan, who caught it easily.  
  
“Yeah, what?” He threw it back.  
  
“One day, I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting closer and closer. Then it hit me.” Kenny grinned, throwing it forcefully at Stan, who didn’t even bother trying to catch it. He put his hands on his hips and stared in disbelief at the _disgusting_ human in front of him.  
  
“That joke. Was terrible.” He stated blandly, walking over and picking up the frisbee.  
  
“Don’t be a hypocrite, Stan! You’d think it was funny if it was coming from you!” Kyle called out from the bench, which made Stan glare at him. _He’s not wrong..._ The emerald eyes met his immediately, and then they were in an impromptu staring contest. Stan could hear Kenny trying to get his attention and feel his eyes getting dry, but he persevered. He heard footsteps and saw Kenny walk over to where Kyle was sitting, shoving him off the bench onto the soft covering of leaves on the ground. This, of course, made Kyle break the eye contact. Stan pumped his arms up in victory, almost dropping the frisbee.  
  
“If you’re not going to play, Stan, at least let me chill with Buttercup,” Kenny sighed, slouching in the bench and smiling at the shorter blond. Kyle, grimacing, slapped Kenny upside the head gently and traipsed over to where Stan was.

"You'd pick Butters over me any day," The raven said with a busy laugh, collecting the frisbee he dropped but caught between his thighs, drawing an arm back in the direction of Kyle before quickly spitting out his next words. "Think fast!"  
  
Letting out an undignified yell, the redhead clapped his arms together in a panic to catch the oncoming frisbee, shutting his eyes in anticipation of the blow to his face. Surprisingly to both of them, Kyle caught the rim of the disk between his hands, a soft pair of claps nearby on the bench when Stan saw the boy relax his curled upstanding position.  
  
"I wasn't ready, you asshole!" Kyle spat, gripping the plastic in one hand before flinging it back at Stan, who easily swiped it in the air in front of him, tittering a laugh as his eyes glanced to the mild anger on his face, but a wide grin that stretched from cheek to cheek.  
  
"Looks like you're ready now," He countered with a laugh before tossing the frisbee back in Kyle's direction, but not exactly where he stood, expecting him to run to catch it. And that he did. "I see you didn't spend all your time in your room, Jersey boy!"  
  
"Good to see I'm living up to the expectations of the _Great_ Stan Marsh!" Kyle fired back, pouring all of his sarcasm into the one word, launching the plastic disk in a curved motion back to the raven, who could hear faint snickering from the bench. Stan wasn't one to let up though, and caught the frisbee without looking at it, his eyes busy staring at something- Rather, someone else.  
  
"Pretty good with your hands, aren't you?" Kyle said with a toothed grin, suppressing bouts of laughter in his throat before continuing, catching the disk gliding through the air towards him as he spoke, landing his gaze on the raven. "But I can be better with mine!"

Stan stared blankly at Kyle for a moment, then erupted in laughter at his words, the redhead only caught on after the gears in his mind worked its magic for a few seconds. "Hey! I don't mean it like- NO!" Raising his voice, the redhead threw the frisbee back over to him, the plastic hurling to the floor next to the raven due to the sudden throw. Stan was still laughing, hands over his stomach to hold in his breath of laughter.  
  
Kyle stomped, his face red from the embarrassment, evidently silently hoping only Stan heard the accidental double meaning. His gaze snapped to the two blonds on the bench, both seemed to be distracted by each other, but a curved smirk was present on the taller blond.  
  
"Hey!" The raven called out, picking up the frisbee, then passing it lightly back to Kyle, a lopsided smile on his face. "No homo."  
  
The redhead facepalmed, releasing his own laughs, shifting his feet when the plastic disk landed on the tip of his shoes. Peeking through the gaps of his fingers, his eyes found Stan's. "No homo, dude."

Stan let out a loud laugh, grinning at Kyle. Kyle smiled fondly and picked up the frisbee, looking over at the blondes on the bench.  
  
“Hey, dudes! Why don’t all of us participate?” He called out, which made Kenny snap up from his slouched position, where he was leaning into Butters. He stood up and offered a hand out to Butters, which made him let out an ‘aw, Ken!’ before he was helped up.  
  
The two of them bounced over, and they spread out so they were in a square formation. Kyle flipped the frisbee in Kenny’s direction, who stopped looking at Butters long enough to catch it. He threw it to Stan, who chucked it at Butters.  
  
“H-hey fellas! Why don’t you all line up over there and see who can catch this?” He grinned, and Kenny immediately gestured to the other two boys to move back and line up, which they did.  Stan scuffed his shoe on the grass, narrowing his eyes in a challenge at the other two boys. Butters counted down from three and launched the plastic disc into the air. The three of them ran forward, Stan watching Kyle out of the corner of his eye and ensuring he was faster than the redhead. Kyle kept glancing at him, eyes shining with determination. Kenny had dropped out already and was gleefully watching from behind them.

Stan could see his moment to jump was coming up. He forced his awareness of the boy next to him out of his mind, and tensed his calves, using the speed he had to leap into the air. Kyle jumped a split-second after him, and Stan desperately used his height advantage over the other boy to reach out for the disk, grabbing it. He heard Kyle give out a yelp and he felt a body slam into him.  
  
The two of them fell to the ground, Stan was pretty sure they’d head-butted each other and his back _hurt_ from taking the brunt of the fall for both of them. He squinted his eyes open to find Kyle panting on top of him, a grimace on his face. He locked eyes with the redhead, and both of them cracked up into giggles. Stan became aware of the frisbee in his hand, and he raised it straight up like a trophy. He heard ambling steps and the plastic was taken from him by a chuckling Kenny.  
  
“I believe we have a winner, don’t we, Buttercream~?” The smooth fucker was saying. Stan and Kyle locked eyes and sighed simultaneously. Stan quirked an eyebrow up.  
  
“Now would be a great time to show me how _good_ you are with your hands.” He said, barely managing to finish before he burst back into laughter, only increasing in intensity when Kyle spluttered and rolled off him, letting out a soft breath as he thumped onto the damp grass. Stan leaned up on an elbow, smirking. “Wanna go beat up Kenny?”

Kyle nodded way too energetically, but for Stan, it was the right amount of enthusiasm. Quickly shooting up to his feet, he held out a hand to the redhead, who took it in a heartbeat, utilising the help to stand back up. Both dusting themselves and adjusting the creases on their clothes before turning to face the grinning blond.  
  
"Butternut, if I die someday you'll know who to blame," Kenny said with an easy laugh, exaggeratedly gulping down nervousness down his throat as he stared at Stan and Kyle, who slowly advanced onto the blond. "C'mon, why can't we use our hands for something else?- Ow!" Stan delivered a lighthearted punch to the boy's shoulder, a smile quickly stretching across his face from the satisfaction. Following suit, Kyle jabbed a nearby area on Kenny's arm, causing him to painfully laugh out.  
  
"Hey, you're turning me black and blue!" He whined out, rubbing his struck arm, though no amount of harm could wipe off that _fucking smirk on his face,_ but Stan felt determined, and drew his arm back for another punch until-  
  
"Uh! How about we uh- Get some ice cream, fellas?" Butters intervened quickly, hands open in front of him as he stood between the raven and the sandy-blond. Stan couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow at the shorter boy's behavior, but shrugged it off with a mocked laugh. "We're just messing, and ice cream sounds like a great idea, Butters."

Kenny slipped the frisbee back into the depths of his hoodie’s inside pocket and offered an arm to Butters, who laughed before taking it and walking with him. Stan eyed Kyle and copied Kenny’s actions. Kyle overdramatised feeling overwhelmed and fainting, which made Kenny turn around and flip them both off. The two of them kept laughing almost the whole walk to get ice cream, fueled by the glares that Kenny kept sending them. Butters was oblivious as always, chattering about this and that. Kenny somehow kept track of both his words and the two _troublemakers_ behind him.  
  
There was an ice cream shop on a street near the school that had been almost a permanent hangout for years. The ice cream was _good_ , and Cartman bought enough per week - even in winter - to keep them in business year round. Stan, rather than anything fancy, preferred to get a simple chocolate sundae. It had chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup, and a chocolate wafer. His chocolate addiction was nothing compared to the pure disgust he felt viewing some of the selections his friends made, _especially_ the girls.  
  
As they arrived, Butters immediately offered to pay for everyone, which Kyle refused immediately and offered to pay himself. Kenny and Stan shrugged as the two boys kept _insisting_ that they should pay. After two minutes of the back and forth, Kenny proposed that they split the bill half and half, which Kyle looked sheepish about, having not come up with the idea himself. As Kenny and Butters went ahead and ordered their usual, a vanilla milkshake for the taller and a strawberry ice cream tart for Butters, Stan turned to Kyle and nudged his arm.  
  
“What do you want?”

Kyle's eyes squinted at the menu of the assortment of sweets and desserts that the shop had to offer. Meanwhile, Stan kept his gaze curiously on the boy, his expression so see-through he could hear the redhead’s thoughts. Both blonds walked from the line to take a seat on one of the booths against the window, and the raven was about to order his usual before he heard a loud _Ah!_ from the boy next to him.  
  
"I guess... A banana split? Kyle said, sounding more of a conflicted question than a decision. Stan quirked an eyebrow at the redhead. "Are you asking me or?" He received a quick nudge from the seemingly anger-filled boy, who snapped a glare up at him before returning to the person at the counter. "Give me a banana split! Hold the nuts, please." Stan snickered at the mention of the word 'nuts,' earning him another elbow nudge by him. "There were significantly less annoying laughs in your letters, Swampy, never imagined you'd be one to laugh at every given naughty joke. It’s like you’re twelve."  
  
As if proving the redhead's comment, Stan failed to stifle the soft chuckles that puffed out of his breath, resting a hand on the counter as he looked to Kyle. "I guess I'm in a really happy mood, Broccoli. Can't imagine why, though." He said with a smirk, the other barking out a laugh as he went to slide paper bills on the counter.  
  
"I just can't seem to put a finger on the reason why," Kyle countered with a grin, turning to face the raven as he moved a finger through the air between them, then finally pressing it against one of his cheeks. "Oh wait, there we go."

Stan smiled, one of those genuine happy ones he rarely showed to those outside of Wendy and Kenny. He shook it off and then scoffed, but he couldn’t keep the charade going when he saw Kyle send him a soft smile that brightened his face. Unfortunately for them, their fond moment was interrupted as the cashier cleared her throat, mentioning the total the food came to, which made Kyle flush with embarrassment over losing focus, and hand over the money. Stan snorted as they both turned towards the booth, which got him an elbow in the side.

“All you ever do is elbow me, I’m gonna end up having bruises all over my side from your bony ass elbows,” Stan complained, rubbing his side. Kyle only let out a sly grin in response as he slipped into the seat opposite Butters. The two of them were getting along well, but then again, Butters could make a friend out of anyone.

“Well, hiya fellas! I was telling Ken here about my favorite flowers! They’re sunflowers! They’re really sweet ‘nd all, how they always follow the sun.” Kenny whispered something in Butters’ ear which made him blush before turning back to the other two.  
  
“I bet Stan doesn’t have a favorite flower, he’s a dickwad,” Kenny said simply, trailing his finger in absent-minded lines along the table. Stan kicked him in the shin and turned to Butters, thinking.  
  
“I like cacti. They’re prickly fuckers, sure, but they produce really pretty flowers when they want to.” He could see Kyle watching him thoughtfully out of the corner of his eye. “Though, I don’t know if they count. They’re more plants than a flower,” Stan laughed awkwardly. Luckily, Kyle jumped in.  
  
“I love flowers that have a lot of meaning. Like roses and tulips. But my favourites are carnations. They’re really nice to look at _and_ they have lovely meanings.” He said, fiddling with his hair. _That’s.... a real Kyle response._ Stan thought, watching the boy. He was.... endearing. The way he was acting indicated that his like of flowers was something he didn’t tell many people, and Stan felt both a surge of pride at him trusting them and what also felt like... _jealousy? Why should I be jealous? I mean, of course I want him to trust me the most, but..._

Stan shook his head in a subtle manner. No, he shouldn't have thoughts like that. He should feel happy that Kyle's getting along with everyone else, he never got to back in New Jersey. The raven figured the uneasy feeling in his gut just needed to be filled with ice cream.  
  
"Carnations, huh? That's a way less edgy answer than ol' _succ-lord_ over here~" Kenny jested, jutting a finger over to Stan across the table, earning him another kick to the blond's poor shin. "Goddamnit, Stan, you know I can't afford healthcare!"  
  
The sweet noises of Kenny's pained complaints were music to Stan's ears at this moment, though the action earned the boy a light jab from the redhead's elbow, hitting a nerve that jolted up his spine. Butters, although rubbing the taller blond's struck shin, giggled at the sight in front of him, Stan laughed too. Butters always had a laugh that could light up any dreary mood.  
  
"Succulents are nice, though! They're easy to take care of, pretty low-maintenance, and they look pretty nice as long as you don't touch the spikes," Kyle informed with an interested smile, all eyes gathering on him, looking on with mixed expressions. Stan and Butters both held curious looks, but the smirk on Kenny's face couldn't get any wider. "So ol' Stanny likes plants like him, huh? Minus the 'low-maintenance' part," The blond said with a laugh, quickly bringing his knees up on the booth's chair when he heard feet shuffling below him. "Hah! I gotcha' now, Stan- Ow!" Nothing could've prepared Kenny for the quickly thrown hat at his direction.  
  
"What?" The raven glanced down to the boy sat next to him, who exchanged gazes with furrowed brows. "He asked for it!"  
  
"Fair enough," Kyle said with an easy smile, shrugging his shoulders back as he turned his eyes back to the two blonds sat across them. "I'm getting ganged up, Butternut, this isn't fair. However will I manage~?" Kenny dramatically leant against the shorter blond, who merely snorted at his antics.

Their conversation continued, going every direction, though the shin kicking, hat throwing, and elbowing became less frequent when one of the staff finally carried over their order.

“Oh _fuck_ yeah,” Kenny groaned as he looked at the scrumptious vanilla milkshake. “I swear, this place has the _best_ milkshakes.” He leant his head on Butters’ shoulder briefly and whispered a ‘thank you’, which made Butters grin before he dug into his tart.  
  
“Ah, great,” Kyle was examining his banana split. He thanked the waitress and rubbed his hands together. “They remembered no nuts.” Stan let out a laugh, which made Kyle turn to him to respond, but then glanced at Stan’s order and made a face. “How the _fuck_ can you eat that? It looks like Willy Wonka died in there.” _He isn’t wrong..._ Stan thought, looking at the _severe_ amount of chocolate in front of him.  
  
“It tastes good. I have a sweet tooth,” he shrugged.  
  
“Well, enjoy voring Willy Wonka’s remains, Stan,” Kenny said, letting out an obnoxious slurping noise through his straw. “Didn’t know you were into that, honestly.”  
  
“Kenny I swear to god you’re _asking_ to be hurt,” Stan glared at his friend, who let out a lazy grin.  
  
“Butters wouldn’t let that happen, would you, dearest?” He turned his eyes on the blond beside him, who was blushing from the pet name.  
  
“W-well I mean if you’re bein’ all a-annoying to poor Stan, I g-guess you do deserve it?” He was avoiding looking at Kenny, who simply put a finger under his chin and made eye contact. “B-but u-um... you’re still a p-princess ‘nd all, so m-maybe you don’t.” That made Kenny grin and move back out of Butters’ personal space.  
  
Kyle turned to Stan with a raised eyebrow, confused at all the antics. Stan let out a look of pure confusion himself and shook his head. _I don’t know what’s going on with those two..._

Turning away to focus on his chocolate monstrosity, Stan continued to take bites out of it, letting out groans of satisfaction at each bite, the two blonds continued to converse with each other. Now that he's there observing, it feels more like the two are borderline flirting with each other. He didn't have a problem with in the slightest, but he couldn't help but think how long this has been going on. 

"So uh, Kenny," Kyle spoke up from beside him, midway through chewing a bite of his banana before landing his gaze on the taller blond, "Stan never mentioned to me what you do for a hobby."  
  
Kenny looked away from Butters to return the look, an easy going grin plastered across his face when he gave the redhead's question a small hum of thought. "Hmmm~ Not much, really. Just being a super secret superhero and cleaning up crime every night except Tuesdays." Stan couldn't discern if he was joking or not, it was always a toss-up with Kenny.

"What do you do on Tuesdays, then?" Kyle asked, which made Kenny smirk. Stan groaned internally, knowing what was coming.  
  
"Well, my _dear_ Kyle. Tuesdays are when I go into Stan’s mom’s room and-" Kenny's suggestive tone was cut off as Butters threw a hand over his mouth. Stan could see his eyes light up with mirth as he laughed.  
  
"Jesus Christ..." Kyle muttered, turning back to his food and eating hungrily. Stan watched as Kenny and Butters had an intense whispered conversation, in which it was mostly Butters being angry. _Since when did he and Kenny get so close?_ Stan casually scooped up a bit of his chocolate sundae before he noticed Kyle's eyes on him.  
  
"What? Do I have Willy Wonka remains on my face?" Stan wiped his face with a napkin, looking at it and seeing it was clean then turning back to Kyle for an explanation.

Kyle blinked slowly, his gaze soft until he snapped his eyes away from the raven, who still had his eyes fixated on the boy next to him. Stan gave his napkin another quick look, there wasn't anything stained onto the cloth, and the two blonds were too busy with themselves to pay attention so- _What?_  
  
"Kyle? What's wr-" He shook his head in response, returning his eyes to the banana split as a slight smile quirked at the corners of his lips, his freckles shifting when his face did too. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." His spoon cut small slices into the banana, scooping it up slowly with some ice cream before guiding the silver utensil to his mouth.

Stan watched the redhead curiously, the hushed argument of the two across the table completely unregistered in his mind, his attention diverts from his eyes to the dessert he seemed to be absentmindedly delving into until the spoon scraped the ceramic. "Uhh... You want some of mine?" The raven spoke in a quieter tone than he wanted, but it was enough for Kyle to turn around to him, who alternated his gaze between his vibrant blue eyes and the ravaged banana split in front of him.  
  
"Ah! No thank you, I'm fine-"  
  
"C'mon, take it," Stan interjected, sliding his sundae over to Kyle, withdrawing his spoon out of the dessert. "I'm not hungry anyway. Wait, no, hang on-" The raven took one last large chunk from the sundae, his speech muffled when he guided the chocolate to his mouth. _"Okay, now I am."_  
  
Kyle blinked at the boy, then slowly, he began to laugh. His spoon clanged softly against the tabletop as he brought a hand to his forehead, continuing to laugh loud enough for the two blonds to be drawn away from their conversation. "You're such a dork, Swampy," he sighed out _delectably._ Stan was sure that was a word that existed and fit the situation.

Stan watched the boy for a few more seconds, a small smile on his own face until he felt eyes on him. He looked up to find Kenny looking at the two of them with a raised eyebrow. Stan mouthed a 'what?' at him, which made Kenny grab Butters' hand from where he was finishing his strawberry tart and maneuver it into a circle, pushing his own finger in and out of it. Butters let out an indignant squeal and ripped his hand away, looking at Kenny with major offence, angry to even be involved.  
  
"How old are you again, Kenny?" Stan asked, bored. Kenny let out a loud bark of laughter and then turned to the other blond, trying to coax him out of his offended state. Stan looked back at Kyle, who was looking around, confused. "Don't worry about it, dude." he said, waving it off. "Did you want some of the monstrosity or..?"  
  
"I... You know what? Sure." Kyle shook off his confusion and picked up his spoon. Stan reached out and blocked the spoon with his hand, a smirk on his lips. "What is it, you dick?"  
  
"There is a price to pay." He grinned, which made Kyle frown indignantly. "One bite of your banana split."  
  
"I thought you were full!" He only got a head shake in response, Stan's hand extending. Kyle sighed and grabbed the final spoon of his food. Stan opened his mouth to be fed, but Kyle simply dumped it unceremoniously into his hand. Stan glared at the redhead, flipping him off with his other hand. "I'm not gonna feed you like a baby, asshole." Stan pouted but let Kyle take a spoonful of his sundae. He wasn't planning on eating any more of it, he just liked being a dick. He glanced over to the blonds opposite, where Butters had seemingly warmed back up to Kenny after _The Incident_ and was now being fed by him, both of them smiling brightly and- wait. _Was Kenny blushing?_

It was Stan's turn to quirk his eyebrow, eyeing the two blonds as he slid the banana piece into his mouth and chewed, but his gaze soon returned to Kyle next to him, who honestly had a conflicted time trying to devour the chocolate mess, each bite splitting his lips into either a grimace or a satisfied smirk, his eyes fixated on the dessert. "You don't need to finish it if you can't, Kyle," the raven spoke out after a few minutes of _observing_ , tapping the silver spoon against the table, grabbing the redhead's attention.  
  
"I can finish it! I just... Need time!" Kyle snapped back, attempting to prove his point by digging out a large scoop of the sundae, then shoving it in his mouth in one go, the sides of his mouth messy as his expression shifted to cold regret, yet his eyes furrowed deeper. "Uh, Ky-"  
  
"Mmphf!" Holding an opened hand to the raven, Kyle balled a fist around the spoon in his hands and lightly slammed the table, trying to swallow down the entirety of the dessert in his mouth.  
  
"If he'd just wait it'd eventually melt, right?" Kenny remarked, though his attention quickly reverted back to the shorter blond next to him. Stan watched, softly chuckling as small tears began to build at the corner of Kyle’s eyes, slowly but surely taking the entire thing down his throat.

“Fuck- brain freeze!” Kyle exclaimed, putting his spoon down to grab at his temples, groaning. Stan’s chuckles turned into full-blown laughter, doubling over and leaning his forehead into the table. Kyle shoved him, telling him to ‘fuck off’.  
  
“You just p-practically deep throated a bunch of sickening chocolate sundae! Why didn’t you w-wait?” Kyle elbowed him again, face red. Stan couldn’t help but notice how much the blush showed off his freckles. He wiped off the remainder of the banana split from his hand on his napkin and reached out, poking Kyle’s cheek. His head snapped around, eyes glaring.  
  
“Fuck off.” Stan moved his hand forward again and poked Kyle’s nose, grinning. Kyle went cross-eyed looking at his finger, and then slapped it away. “You’re an ass. I had a point to prove.”  
  
“What, that you could vore Willy Wonka more violently than me?” Kyle sighed and returned to the sundae, eating it with less vigor. Stan turned his attention back to the blonds opposite, who were measuring hands? Butters’ hand looked _tiny_ next to Kenny’s, which made Stan laugh. Kenny’s attention snapped up and he held out his hand towards Stan.  
  
“Fine, Staniel. Let’s go.” Stan reluctantly lifted his hand up and placed it against Kenny’s. They had relatively the same size hands, with Kenny’s being a tad thinner. Kenny closed his fingers around Stan’s hand and winked at him, blowing a kiss. Stan responded by ripping his hand away and wiping it on his shirt, feigning disgust.  
  
Kyle, eager to join in, held out a hand to Stan, who measured them up. Kyle had _really thin hands_ compared. They made Stan look like he had big bear paws. Kyle scraped up the final bits of Stan’s sundae, too distracted to bother moving his hand away.

While the redhead was finishing his endeavors of clearing out the chocolate monstrosity, Stan watched the hand hovered up in front of his own, taking in every detail of Kyle's hand. How much thinner they looked in comparison to his, how pastier his skin looked, and the strange burning touch of his skin when the boy's fingertips skimmed against his own.  
  
"Don't go throatin' that spoon now, Kyle, unfortunately, that doesn't melt~" Kenny jested with a grin, pointing a quick finger to the silverware halfway into Kyle's mouth, who muffled out an angry sound of protest before he stuck out the spoon. "Shut up, I'm almost done!"  
  
"Didn't know you were into some choking action-"  
  
"Fuck you!-" Their exchange flowed into one ear and out the other for the raven, whose gaze were completely locked onto each detail of the redhead's hand, his lowered hand balling and relaxing sporadically. "See, I did it!" Triumphantly, Kyle brought his hands into the air in victory, both clenched into fists around the spoon as he blared a wide smile. Kenny grinned at the sight and Butters clapped his hands together, but Stan flinched when the object of his contemplation suddenly flashed out of sight, unceremoniously letting out a noise of surprise as his gaze snapped up to everyone else.

"Y'okay there, Stan?" Butters was first to speak, cocking his head to the side in puzzlement at the sudden noise, the other's pairs of eyes soon gathered on the raven, but Stan was quick to shrug it off, nervously leaking a laugh as his eyes darted to each gaze. "Yeah, dude! Just, surprised the spoon didn't fall right down Kyle's throat since he talks a lot," he joked with a quickly-made smirk, earning him a quick knock overhead by Kyle's fist.  
  
"Asshole!" Kyle huffed, crossing his arms in front of him after, spoon still in hand. "I like talking, so what?"  
  
"Damn, son. What else does that mouth do?~" Kenny hummed, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at the redhead's direction, who responded with a glare and elbowing Stan on the side, coughing lightly in pain before doubling over on the table once more, looking back to Kyle after recovering.  
  
"Fuck, what was that for?!" Stan groaned amidst the laughter across the table, Kyle shrugged in response, his tone easy, yet firm. "It's your fault," Though he sounded scolding, a smile was still present on his face, and Stan couldn't resist a smile coming along his own.

After the laughter faded, Kyle stretched and rubbed his eyes, looking at Stan. It was only then that Stan remembered the boy had been on a three-day car trip and then on a wild outing with a bunch of new faces. He must be _exhausted_ . Stan glanced over at where Kenny and Butters were involved in a gentle conversation and then locked eyes with Kyle.  
  
"Alright, guys. I think we're gonna head back home. Kyle needs a granny nap." Kyle scoffed and stood up, but looked at Stan gratefully, which made him smile.  
  
"Well, it was really great to have met ya, Kyle!" Butters exclaimed, letting out one of his never-ending supply of bright smiles. Kenny lazily raised a hand, nodding at him and letting out a sly wink. Kyle sighed and walked towards the door, Stan waving at the blonds, thinking about texting Kenny about the whole thing with him and Butters.  
  
He caught up to Kyle easily, walking outside behind him and chuckling when the redhead turned back and forth, indecisive on which way to go. He grabbed the bony elbow that had made contact with his side ever-so-frequently throughout the day and moved the body attached in the right direction. They walked in silence for a few minutes, Kyle watching either his feet or the scenery around them, evidently trying to memorize the path they took. Stan's eyes barely left the boy beside him, studying the range of expressions flickering on his face, seemingly running his mind over the day they'd had. Even just looking at Kyle made Stan smile. Just the fact that they were both here, _together_ , made his stomach churn happily. Stan noticed a shift in breath, and recognized that Kyle was going to say something he'd been thinking about quite a bit.

"Thank you," he said earnestly, making eye contact with Stan. When he saw the confusion lying in the blue pits, he let out a soft sigh. "For, everything today. I had a really good time. And thank you for noticing when I'd had enough... And thank you for-"  
  
"You don't need to thank me, Broccoli," Stan said softly. "What kind of Super Best Friend would I be if I didn't do those things for you?" Kyle let out a breath of laughter.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you'd be even shittier if you didn't." Stan gasped in mock offence, throwing a hand over his heart before bursting back into laughter with Kyle. Kyle, who was everything he'd dreamt he'd be and more. He couldn't wait to spend as long as possible with his best friend, because with Kyle at his side? He felt unstoppable.


End file.
